Comedy·CASE CLOTHED

How to accept a compliment on your clothing without mentioning where it was purchased

The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that people want to know where we bought our clothes simply because we were complimented on them.
(Shutterstock / stockfour)

The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that people want to know where we bought our clothes simply because we were complimented on them. Most of us can count on one hand the number of times we've been asked directly where we picked up that cute blouse, or those charming gym shorts. However, we can all acknowledge that the number of times we've unsolicitedly volunteered the store of origin is INFINITY TIMES.

The impulse is a well-documented phenomenon. A recently discovered journal from 1904 has the following interactions recorded:

ANNA: That is a fine brooch, Samantha.

SAMANTHA: Thanks, it's from the depot.

And a few pages later …

CORPORAL BRYCE: Liam, those britches are quite suitable.

LIAM: I have purchased them from the tailor. He could fashion you a pair quite easily, and for a reasonable price.

Even historically, we want — we need — to tell people where we got an item at the slightest hint of affirmation. Don't think this applies to you? Try to answer the questions below honestly.

When a close friend says "You look nice today," how do you respond?

a) Compulsively fast with "Oh yeah I got the belt at American Eagle for $8.99, and my jeans are super old but they were from Levi's, and my shirt is from Value Village. I think my Keds are from the shoe section at Marshalls. Hmm, either that or Winners."

b) "Thanks!"

Interpret this phrase: "I like your jacket."

a) The speaker is wishing to purchase an identical powder blue raincoat. I need to inform her it is available at MEC, and while other colours are available, this is the nicest one. The jacket is located in the outerwear section, next to the reusable water bottles.

b) The speaker likes the jacket.

A loved one has pointed out you spilled something on your button-up. What is your reply?

a) "Thanks, I got it from Joe Fresh."

b) "Damn it."

If you chose a) for any of the above, you aren't alone — but you are wrong. If you chose b) for any of the above, you are lying.

So what to do? A friend compliments you on your floral snapback. A cashier says "I like your watch." A lover finds your tank top pretty cool. Are you to respond with, "It's from Lids," OR "I got it on sale at the Swatch outlet store," OR "I ordered it online, custom, from Vista Print. I can make you one if you'd like. It's really affordable?"

NO! NO! NO!

Here's what to do instead:

Step 1: Say "Thanks."

Step 2: Stop there.

Step 3: Seriously. Stop there.

I guess this article could have just been one sentence.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cassie Barradas is a former BC middle school teacher and a current Toronto weirdo. She is an alumni of the Second City House Ensemble and an instructor at The Second City Training Centre. Catch her performing around the city with her troupe, Living Bloodsticks.