Fellas! Here's how to get that sexy swimming trunks body in time for summer

Uh oh, fellas! It's the time of year you dread: swimming trunks season. Every guy gets anxious trying on the same pair of swimming trunks he's had for 10+ years under the harsh, unforgiving light of his bedroom lamp. But there's nothing to fear! These short exercises — or should we say ex-him-cises — will have you feeling confident on any beach in no time!

Do squats. Whoops, sorry: do squat

To get into acceptable shape for the beach, you'll have to do squats. Wait, that was a typo; we meant to say you'll have to do squat. Your body is always in style! Your swimming trunks, on the other hand, have not been since the days of Puka shells. Time to get another pair!

Plank! Oops, no, we meant: Plan to make a purchase

Forget about planking; you already look great. Instead, plan to buy a new set of swim trunks so no one has to look at yours and remember that Good Charlotte used to be a very popular band.

Incorporate lunges. Whoops again! Eat lunches

Since you don't have to worry about changing your perfect-the-way-it-is body, you can eat whatever you'd like...as long as it's spaghetti sauce you spill all over the swimming trunks you still have from your adolescence, rendering them unwearable! It's just that easy!

Don't worry about toning up those calves: just tone down those patterns!

You are wonderful, so don't make those around you fully wonder if Randy River is still open. Update that pattern, boys — no more Hawaiian print flowers!

Don't be afraid. Nope, sorry, typo: don't have a frayed drawstring

The natural progression of getting older is a beautiful process that does not need to be symbolically represented by the degradation of the old, old drawstrings holding up your shorts.

Deadlifts add a nice counterbalance to your routine. Lift your purchase onto the counter and then pay

Money cannot buy confidence, but it can buy you nylon trunks, the same way your mom bought the pair you currently own.

Exercise in short spurts. TYPO! We meant: exorcise shorts

Please make them ghost away.

Ankle weights. WHOOPS, no! What we meant was: OMG just get some new swimwear

For real.

There you have it, fellas! You've had a bangin' swimming trunks bod all along! In short, the only thing that needs to change is the shorts you're in!

About the author:

Cassie Barradas is sosososo tired of buying a new bikini every single summer and there is a possibility she is projecting.

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