As beach season approaches, Trudeau vows to get serious about pectoral reform
OTTAWA, ON—Our prime minister has heard our concerns, and plans to do something about it immediately.
Justin Trudeau, responding to concerns that a winter and spring full of diplomatic meetings may have left his selfie-loving torso in less than peak condition, has hit the gym in order to enact total and innovative pectoral reform.
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"Look. I know why I got your votes. Do I know why I got your votes? I do. I know why I got your votes," said Trudeau, apparently not quite understanding why he got our votes.
"The personal is political. You have to get your own house in order before you go trying to change the whole country, especially when you got elected under the order that was already there. So instead of ordering the government and Elections Canada to turn around our voting process in order that the will of the people be better represented, I'm going to hit the GoodLife for some flat, incline, and even decline bench presses."
At press time, when asked if he would move on to electoral reform after dealing with pectoral reform, Prime Minister Trudeau mumbled something about a few years' worth of leg days first.
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