New mother plans to nurture happy, confident, thriving pre-baby body

SURREY, BC—Having given birth to son Leon forty minutes ago, Lucy Larkin, 37, says that when she looks into her son's eyes, she's already "so incredibly proud" of the sweet, intelligent and strong pre-baby body she will soon have.

"I've always wanted to be a mother," Larkin gushes. "Parenting is hard work, but I'm going to do my best every single day to raise the expectations around my physical appearance to a maddeningly unattainable height," she explains as she breastfeeds her son with one hand and with the other, perfectly executes a long series of bicep curls with a 400-pound hospital-issued dumbbell.

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"The next few months with Leon are going to be filled with so many amazing firsts," Larkin continues. "My first yoga class, which is in ten minutes. My first six-week beach body bootcamp, which starts tomorrow."

"Those first steps are so precious," Larkin adds. "On my Fitbit, I mean."

Larkin says she knows that the first year of her son's life is going to fly by unbelievably fast.

"You blink, and it's bikini season," she says tearfully. "It's like, where does the time go?"

Although her son is not even an hour old, Larkin admits she's already feeling a tiny bit nostalgic. "It feels like just yesterday I was 36 and under immense societal pressure to have a baby. And now I'm under immense pressure to look like I never had one. 37 is such a fun age."

And if all else fails, there's always Photoshop:

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