Latest from Blayne Smith
WATCH OUT
Nets set up along border to protect Canadians from debris falling off crumbling empire
Residents in border cities have begun erecting nets in order to protect their homes and loved ones.
IT'S A PROCESS
After rocky start, moderates implore public to give Trump 65th chance
A string of recent unpopular policy proposals, many are already at their wit’s end
BANG!
American tobacco companies reclassify cigarettes as "mouthguns" to avoid regulation
Mounting pressures have caused this industry to make a dramatic branding change in the hopes of changing public perception.
BRRRRR!
Climate change deniers legally required to wear Canada Goose jackets from November to April
Climate change scientists have filed a court order that will force deniers to wear parkas during the once frigid cold winter months in Canada.
TRUMP
Alternate universes insist: "Uh, those aren't facts here, either"
Representatives from the Coalition of Alternate Earths held a press conference to address what Kellyanne Conway had referred to as the “alternative facts".
US ELECTION
South Korea pens open letter to Canada: "We feel you guys"
Canada, It's South Korea. We just wanted to pop over because we heard the bad news and if there is one thing South Korea can relate to, it's batshit crazy neighbours.
SIGH
REPORT: Like most handsome guys, Trudeau turning out to be a bit of a lying dick
We’ve all been there, sitting at a bar or maybe preparing for a federal election when a handsome fellow seems to fall right out of the sky.
Annual transition from beach bod to Netflix bod begins across Canada
Much like squirrels putting on weight to survive the winter months, many people are finding they need to prepare for the coming season – and fast.