Alternate universes insist: "Uh, those aren't facts here, either"

DIMENSIONAL BRIDGE, XBRAXIA—Making a rare Earth C-12 appearance, representatives from the Coalition of Alternate Earths held a press conference to address what Kellyanne Conway had referred to as the "alternative facts" presented by White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer regarding Donald Trump's inauguration.

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"We have come to your Earth to address the notion that these alternative facts might hold true in an alternate universe. I can assure you, despite there being a near infinite number of universes with an infinite amount of possibilities, there isn't even a single one where Trump had a larger inauguration crowd than Obama," stated Zaria Djek, President of the Coalition. "Alternate universe tourism is an important part of our economies and we cannot have travelers scared off by thinking they might wind up in some Trump-loving, pee-party backwater."

Despite initial excitement at the confirmation of the existence of other worlds, exuberance was cut short upon learning that a dimension travel advisory had been issued for Earth C-12, warning tourists away from our universe.  

"I've seen some pretty wild and dangerous places," said Minister of Tourism Malor Targal. "There's a universe where people have knives instead of hands, one where polar bears can fly, hell I've heard about a dimension that sells milk in bags! President Trump though? That's just crazy. Most known societies just chased him into the woods when he wouldn't stop grabbing women's… well, you know."

Not all dimensional residents share this sentiment though – inter-dimensional resort developers see our Earth as one ripe with possibilities. Apparently, Earth C-12 seems to lack many of the rules and regulations of more advanced places in the multiverse. This makes it an attractive destination for the wealthy looking to blow off a little steam.

"From what I can tell, as long as you're rich enough and white enough you can get away with murder, and I do mean that literally. I got the idea from observing a C-12 entertainment program, Westworld, which I had originally mistaken for a documentary on the history of your United States of America," one developer explained.

The advisory will be mostly informal, however, with no real restrictions in place, as a proposal for the construction of an energy barrier along the dimensional border was quickly dismissed as "impractical and childish".

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