Royal appetites: A regal round-up of monarchs' favourite foods
It's with some appreciation of irreverence that one notes we typically observe Queen Victoria's birthday by taking a Monday off to eat hotdogs and drink beer in our swimsuits. Not that there's anything wrong with a frank and a brew (fine common fare for fine common folk). Nor is there anything wrong with a little royal appreciation. The "Mother of the Confederation" did survive no less than six assassination attempts. Pretty bad@ss.
But as you descend upon your local grocery store to stock up on enough Canadian snacks to satiate the common palates of you and your kin, it may serve you to remember some royal favourites. It needn't be all extravagance and excess either. Although, to be fair, Karl Shaw does write in 5 People Who Died During Sex: And 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists (a wonderful collection of morbid curiosities) that King George IV "got his reign off to a flying start at his coronation banquet when he served up to his guests 7,442 pounds of beef, 7,133 pounds of veal, 2,474 pounds of mutton, and an unweighed mountain of lamb and poultry." The "orgy of conspicuous consumption" offended so deeply that coronation banquets were banned shortly after.
Still, more humble offerings have made their way to our tables thanks to royal appetites. John Montagu is the reason you had a ham on rye for lunch. Montagu was the Fourth Earl of Sandwich and yes, the legend is accurate. He invented the convenient staple during a night of gambling so as to avoid getting meat grease on his card fingers. Depending on your adherence to sandwich law, that hot dog you'll chomp into lakeside this weekend may actually qualify as a royal food fave. Full circle.
Raise a beer and a brat then to some surprising royal food favourites. *Trumpets flourish...* Here they are, if it please you:
Queen Victoria: Potatoes (and sweets)
Though relatively tiny (she barely scraped 5 feet), Queen Victoria had a tremendous appetite and loved food. In particular Her Majesty, like most sentient humans, loved carbs. In The Private Life of the Queen by a Member of the Royal Household, the anonymous author outed the queen's lust for tubers in particular. "Her Majesty confesses to a great weakness for potatoes, which are cooked for her in every conceivable way." Side note: a royal cook preparing potato dishes for me is a fantasy that borders on the erotic for me. The same book confirms Queen Victoria's enduring love of sweets, taken at tea of course, naming "chocolate sponges, plain sponges, wafers of two or three different shapes, langues de chat, biscuits and drop cakes of all kinds, tablets, petit fours, princess and rice cakes, pralines, almond sweets, and a large variety of mixed sweets" as some royal favourites. But none so loved as "a cranberry tart with cream." If you're judging her for being a touch decadent in her tastes, she wouldn't have cared. She famously said, "The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them". Yasss queen.
Queen Elizabeth: Fish n' Chips (and chocolate)
Her Majesty's royal kitchen attendants know to never serve her garlic, onions or anything too "saucy" (literal, not figurative) for dinner. Spaghetti is out of the question. A marinara-laden noodle gone rogue would almost certainly wreak havoc on the royal pastel she's famous for wearing. More traditional English dishes like roast beef, lamb cutlets, and poached salmon (often raised and fished from the various royal estates) are likely to please the royal palate. A favourite dinner is a variation on a common dish: good old fish n' chips. The preferred presentation is "haddock fried in breadcrumbs, served with Bearnaise sauce and neat thin french fries." Sounds lovely.
Savoury dishes don't capture the attention of her majesty quite so well as sugary ones. The royal tooth is decidedly sweet. While there is a fondness for summer pudding and tangy lemon tarts, chocolate is the go-to dessert. Chocolate mousse and mint chocolate ice cream are happily consumed at the royal table, as is the chocolate biscuit cake that famously accompanies her majesty when she travels.
Prince Charles: The "perfect" picnic sandwich (and fresh veg)
The Prince of Wales is more finicky and more exacting that his mother when it comes to food. A former royal chef, Hev Marchand, explained the detail with which a traditional Scottish bap (it's a regular bread roll btw) was to be prepared. "Charles wanted a homemade organic granary bap exactly eight centimeters in diameter, and cut in half," relayed Marchand. "I was told I had to cut it exactly to size if it were too big or small. I would butter the first half with mayonnaise, add pesto, shredded salad leaves, and an egg, which had been fried on both sides so that it was not runny. I would then have to season the eggs and add two thin slices of Gruyere cheese." He was also told that a thin smear of butter and marmite were to be administered to one half of the roll before serving. The final flourish? A dusting of flour. Prince Charles wanted it to look rustic.
He is also quite particular about his vegetables. He insists they be fresh organic veggies from the royal garden at Highgrove, his Gloucestershire home. The veggies, like the Queen's biscuit cake, are regularly transported to him wherever he travels. With its own attendant, no less.
Prince William: Military Lamb Burger (not too spicy)
Unlike his wife, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, the prince is not fond of overly-spicy foods. He does like a good English roast (and the occasional lasagna) but his favourite bite is about as common as you can get. It's a burger. While working nights as a search and rescue helicopter pilot with the Royal Air Force, it turns out Prince William always requested the same meal. In fact, he'd order two to make sure his royal appetite was kept in check (search and rescue is hungry work). The 'Royal Welsh Lamb Burger', added to the officer's mess specifically for Prince William by Chef Gareth Matheson, has since become something of a famous dish. Matheson now sells the burger at Road King, a restaurant in Anglesey. Yes, it comes with chips – meaning fries – of course. All things considered it does sound pretty epic. The coveted food item is made with only the freshest produce (all local) and topped with Snowdonia cheese, bacon and a fried egg. A dash of paprika and mint sauce round out the flavour profile. I'll also take two.
While Matheson couldn't tempt the prince with curries: "He liked a little bit of spice but not too much. He doesn't like curries and things like that" (aside: respectfully disagree with the royal palate in this instance), Prince William's love for the lamb burger was not subtle. "He tried it and loved it and he would have it a couple of times a week. I thought he was going to turn into a burger at one point. It is a lot but he used to tell me that because it was a big meal, a good meal, it used to fill him up over the night shift so he wouldn't snack." Mindful of his health, the Prince appreciated the fresh local ingredients, and that the burger only clocked in at about 450 calories. I may take three.
All in all, pretty standard favourites in terms of eats. Burgers, Fish n' Chips, Mint Chocolate Ice Cream, Picnic Rolls. Huh, sounds like a basic Victoria Day weekend menu.
You don't have to keep Queen Victoria in your thoughts as you enjoy the long weekend, but as you lustily dispatch your 4th hot dog, appreciate that she was a culinary pioneer of sorts. Being a "lady" who loved food was a bold choice back then. Most etiquette manuals of the time suggested something akin to a diet of dust and leafy greens for "proper" women. In later years when Queen's culinary excess caught up with her and she became increasingly corpulent, she was put on a diet. Though being Queen, she simply ate the prescribed diet foods along with her preferred foods.
And remember that every lowly sandwich you've ever eaten (and will ever eat) has royal lineage. If you're taken to indulge in two at a time, don't sweat it. Your appetite is nothing short of regal.
Marc Beaulieu is a writer, producer and host of the live Q&A show guyQ LIVE @AskMen