Need a last-minute gift idea for Valentine's Day? HUNKS Comedy has you covered

Uh-oh! It's Valentine's Day.

If you're like us, you were well aware that this day was coming — you just didn't do anything about it. And now you're behind the proverbial 8-ball.

Well, here are some last-minute ideas that'll help you get out of this most recent jam. With these gift ideas, you might just get them to stick around for another month's rent.

Create a Valentine's-themed scavenger hunt:

The more challenging, the better. If they can't figure out the clue, then they'll never know there was no gift at the end to begin with.

You can also explain past screw-ups by working them into the scavenger hunt plot. "That's right, hon, the Liberty Tax mascot I punched out was a paid actor." (*WINK*)

Dinner:

Too late to reserve that specialty dinner for curbside pick-up? No problem! Just get into a minor traffic accident. You'll be tied up for hours sorting out insurance info right at prime dinner time. They'll probably just find some Triscuits in the pantry.

And if they do ask you where dinner is when you get home, just say "How can you think of food at a time like this!? I was just in a traffic accident!" Then go directly to bed.

Propose:

This should only be done if the relationship is younger than six weeks and you're sure they'll say no. Otherwise, you may have to actually get married, and that's, like, a five-year commitment!

Write a heartfelt poem:

It doesn't matter if you're not a great writer. What matters is that everybody hates poetry, so they'll talk you out of reading it to them to avoid the secondhand embarrassment.

Flowers and candy:

It's 4:59 p.m. All the florists and candy stores are closing and you're still in your housecoat. What will you do!? Not to worry! Head on down to your local 7-Eleven and buy a pack of smokes. You always get your best ideas when you're smoking. You'll come up with something!

Make her some homemade lingerie:

Any man will tell you that women love getting lingerie as a gift. And any woman will tell you that they love a nice, thoughtful, homemade present. So this one's a two-fer! And you don't have to be a sewing nerd to do it. Just use a pair of scissors to cut the butt out of a pair of her old sweatpants, and voila! 

Whatever you choose to go with this year, don't be too hard on yourself. Gift giving can be stressful, especially if you've been having trouble concentrating on things ever since Patrik Laine got traded.

Just remember: when it comes to Valentine's Day, it's the thought that counts. And that's why it's important to cover up the fact that you put no thought into this day at all.

Happy Val-Laine-tine's Day!

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This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

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