'What willpower can't do': Stark confession of addiction at launch of substance use awareness week
'I thought everybody started drinking around 12,' says recovering addict
Kelly Krawchuk's blunt recollection of his journey of addiction runs from drinking at 12 years of age to becoming a "functioning crackhead."
In between, Krawchuk had a successful hockey career that took him to the U.S., a college degree and a job with an American company that eventually brought him back home to open the firm's first Canadian office at a six-figure salary.
He attributes much of his success to a book on willpower he read as a teen.
"Why am I'm telling you all this, about my hockey career and my big-paying job? It's just to let you know how absolutely awesome I used to be," Krawchuk told the audience. "And then I smoked crack. For the next 20 years I figured out what willpower can't do," he said.
'Functioning crackhead'
Within a year Krawchuk's life went from "doing all right" to "totally collapsed, basically."
As a "functioning crackhead," Krawchuk says, he barely kept a step ahead of his addiction, quitting jobs just before getting fired, and binging on drugs, disappearing for up to six days at a time and spending anywhere from $1,500 to $6,000 at a time.
As his addiction cycled out of control, he says, the litany of disappointments to friends and family mounted.
He missed anniversaries and holiday get-togethers, events he planned himself, and critical moments as his wife struggled with cancer.
"I just about screwed up my wife's double mastectomy because I was out smoking meth for five days … and then the real good one, when my wife was just about dying of chemo and I was out on a bender," Krawchuk told the crowd.
Finally, Krawchuk says, he got the lifeline to sobriety he needed before the addictions took his life. He began group therapy at the St. Raphael Wellness Centre as suicide became an option to the point of planning and realizing the pain of hurting his loved ones was overwhelming.
"They taught me about triggers, they taught me about self-care, they taught me about false beliefs, communication, building healthy relationships, dealing with grief," Krawchuk said.
'They save lives'
The list pours out of Krawchuk as he winds up his speech, but he has a message to the crowd about places such as St. Raphael and the role they play in treating addictions.
"These facilities are saving lives. And that is the bottom line. You can say they are getting people sober and saving relationships, no no. They are saving lives and people need to know that," Krawchuk said.
Krawchuk, who's now completed a program that's taught him to become a recovery coach, credits St. Raphael for saving his life.
Now that he's sober, he has some advice for the government as it slowly unwinds its addictions strategy in the face of a growing meth crisis.
Krawchuk relapsed after he completed his initial drug treatment.
"It's only my opinion, but I needed something after treatment … the gap that I see is more halfway houses, more places [like] St. Raphael, communication learning, and learning about triggers and stuff. That's what people need when they get out [of] the programs," Krawchuk told CBC News following his speech.
Drug treatment programs such as what is offered by the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba can only go so far and last only weeks or sometimes months. Krawchuk says getting sober takes more time — and help.
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