2 Indigenous women reflect on what an apology from Pope Francis would mean

WARNING: This story contains distressing details.

Many Indigenous people will be watching closely to see what happens when a delegation of Métis, First Nation and Inuit delegates meet with Pope Francis and other church officials this week to seek an apology for the Roman Catholic Church's role in running residential schools in Canada. Liz Akiwenzie is one of those people.

Akiwenzie, from Chippewas of the Nawash First Nation, north of Owen Sound, is a cultural educator now living in Mount Brydges. She and her brother endured abuse at the St Mary's Catholic Day School located on their reserve, and she says her brother who was sexually abused, took his own life in his 30s. 

"I have no trust that they'll do what's right," she said. "They abused us, lied to us, and covered it up. Many of my relatives were abused and so was I."

The Assembly of First Nations Delegation will be at the Vatican from March 28 to April 1. The visit was planned after the discovery of what's believed to be hundreds of children's graves at sites of former residential schools across the country. 

Chippewas of the Thames First Nation is currently leading an investigation into possible unmarked burial sites at the former Mount Elgin Industrial Residential School outside of London, Ont. 

"This is why there's such a high degree of suicide, alcoholism, and drug abuse among Natives. It all goes back to the Catholic Church, and this has been going on for seven generations," Akiwenzie said. 

She believes it should be the church's responsibility to work with the community on reconciliation, rather than the delegation travelling to the Vatican to ask for an apology.  

"I don't know what the Pope is going to say but words are cheap, and saying sorry means absolutely nothing. So what if he's sorry? Show us, there's no magic in saying sorry."

No reconciliation until there's truth

While she's not optimistic, Robyn Michaud of Woodstock, Ont., is hopeful that this trip will at least allow the church to acknowledge the realities of many First Nations communities.

"I can't wrap my head around why it's taken so long, it's so disrespectful for all the survivors that shared their stories with the hope that we would move toward reconciliation," she said. 

"We talk about truth and reconciliation but we're not even close to getting there until the truth comes out. Until there's an apology there will be no reconciliation." 

Michaud is a Sagamok Anishnawbek, and her family members are survivors of a residential school in Spanish, Ont. She said, she's reminded on a daily basis how much pain her community carries.  

"I always think if residential schools never happened, how different would our lives and journeys have been?"

'They owe us'

Both Michaud and Akiwenzie say an apology is the absolute "bare minimum" and that the church should focus on supporting survivors and educating others about the diverse Indigenous culture.  

"It can't just be words, it has to be backed up by actions. It's a huge impact on our community and they should support us in healing," Michaud said. 

Akiwenzie believes it's time for the church to take responsibility and action to tackle the pain that many in her community still live with today, instead of only giving out financial compensation. 

"The church owes us, so they need to create healing and wellness for the next generations. Let us get back to our culture way of healing, give us the finances so that we can learn our language and have our own educational system," she said. 

"They made our people hate themselves, lots of my relatives carry cultural-self-hate because of what the church planted in them." 

Michaud hopes that this will bring some healing to her ancestors who never lived to hear the conversations about reconciliation. 

"There's a lot of anger and resentment, so people are hopeful but we aren't expecting anything. We're skeptical that there will be sincerity behind the apology," she said. 

Support is available for anyone affected by the lingering effects of residential school and those who are triggered by the latest reports.

A national Indian Residential School Crisis Line has been set up to provide support for residential school survivors and others affected. People can access emotional and crisis referral services by calling the 24-hour national crisis line: 1-866-925-4419.