I didn't 'play well' during the pandemic. My ballot box issue is freedom

This column is an opinion by Caroline Parke, who lives on a ranch near Lloydminster. For more information about CBC's Alberta election 2023 opinion series, visit the My Priority home page.

I see myself as a collaborative person, but I didn't "play well" with others during the pandemic. That's deeply affected my political views and I have more concerns than ever heading into this election. Here's why.

I am a mother of four younger children, a songwriter who tells soulful stories pertaining to the human experience, and a lifelong citizen of Alberta. I live in relative social isolation on the family farm. As an extrovert, it's been very difficult at times, but I've found ways to cope and, as the saying goes, "bloom where I'm planted." 

But early on, I had my share of struggles with mental health and that discoloured my opinion of experts.

I was quite the troubled teen; a high school dropout, just looking for the next party. After a train wreck of bad decisions, I took the advice of health care professionals and accepted medication to regulate my behaviour. 

I don't remember the next three years very clearly. Overmedicated, I signed up for social assistance, slept 12 to 14 hours a day and gained 80 lbs. 

Eventually, I became desperate to find some semblance of normal and blamed my depression on a poor lifestyle. I rejected my diagnosis, weaned myself off all medication and took the adventure of my life. I moved from a small town to the city, rented my own apartment and got a job at the YMCA for $8.50/hour. 

It was a huge step but I gave myself the space to understand how my brain processed information. I found socially appropriate ways of coping with anxiety; I threw myself into swimming, painting, weightlifting and journaling. The weight melted away. 

So that's my experience with "experts." I lost three years of my life.

Fast forward to the pandemic, situations were unfolding rapidly, the government response was often lagging and contradictory and rules seemed to change from town to town. 

People seemed paranoid; afraid of interacting with healthy friends and family. From a distance it looked ludicrous, but I wasn't living through it the way everyone else was — surrounded by daily signage, masks and warnings. I just watched from the comfort of the family farm, and helplessly wrote a song about the disintegration of the social fabric of our society. 

When the vaccines came out, naturally I was curious about the different products. I took in commentaries on talk radio and skimmed through a few reports, eventually deciding I didn't trust the safety case for the mRNA vaccines; the trials were just too short. But I thought the Johnson & Johnson product might be an option. 

It was the incentives that changed my mind. It's a fine line between incentive and coercion. Offering ice cream, prepaid debit cards, and entry into a $1 million dollar lottery in exchange for vaccination was a red flag for me.

I feel it overstepped their duty to ensure 'freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression.'- Caroline Parke

Then family and friends started to explain their reasons: "I did it for my work" or "I did it so I could socialize."

That felt wrong, and soon news spread of impacts even more serious. People's mobility was threatened when they were denied access to flights and trains, being denied access to their workplaces led to layoffs, and there was significant social impact to being not allowed to cross borders to visit.

I felt if people got vaccinated for any reason other than being concerned about the actual virus, it was coercion, plain and simple. My vaccine delay morphed into outright refusal.

To me, this was the great betrayal. My faith in our government disintegrated. 

I believe our rights as citizens, as spelled out in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, are not given to us from the government. They are inherent. They cannot be taken away. That's what makes where we live glorious and free.

At that time, the government's push for vaccination became so extreme I felt it overstepped their duty to ensure "freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression."

We couldn't even talk about vaccine concerns in public without risking a flood of hate. 

In the end, I resorted to what I learned in the past. I didn't simply "trust the experts," as many commentators urged. I weighed the potential risks for my personal situation and decided not to get vaccinated. I made a decision against the advice of (what felt like) the entire world.

• My Priority: Caroline Parke's ballot box issue

Now for this election, I want to remind fellow citizens about the principles our country is built on, and hope to keep our land "glorious and free." I want all parties to look forward, pitching strong ideas to draw people together and work as a cohesive Alberta, for a prosperous future.

To me, after being shocked by restrictions I never thought possible, I've realized prosperity is nothing if not built on freedom. That's why it's my ballot box issue. I want to vote for someone who understands this and will uphold these most basic rights.

My Priority

What's the one thing that means the most to you in terms of the provincial election and why is that? We recruited over a dozen residents from across Alberta to answer that question.

Read their opinion pieces as they're published at cbc.ca/opinionproject.

Keep in mind, these pieces should not be taken as endorsements of any particular political party by either the writers or the CBC. They are expressions of the writers' points of view, and a look at how those opinions came to be formed.