Blue Christmas in Vancouver gives grieving families reprieve from holiday cheer
Tammy Dewar and Rob MacKay lost their newborn daughter last year
A different kind of Christmas service in Vancouver is helping families cope with loss during the holiday season.
The Blue Christmas service is a get-together designed to support those who are in mourning during the holidays, like Tammy Dewar and Rob MacKay.
Dewar and MacKay lost their newborn daughter, Mara, to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome in October 2015. In the following weeks, the couple couldn't focus on anything but their grief.
"Christmas is about feeling happy, energetic, enthusiastic," Dewar said. "Last year, we weren't feeling that."
The couple decided to try attending a Blue Christmas service.
The sombre gathering, held at the Canadian Memorial United Church downtown, includes candle lighting and moments of silence.
The pair said the service was a welcome reprieve from the excitement of most Christmas events.
"It's time to be with [Mara's] spirit without caring about what's going on," MacKay said. "Just sitting in solemn peace, it was quite helpful."
'A place to be calm, quiet'
Reverend Beth Hayard said she started holding the gatherings in Vancouver several years ago to offer a space for grieving families to pause and reflect.
"This is one of the hardest times of the year to get through — demands like show up with a happy face on are so great," Hayard said. "This just creates a place to be calm, quiet ... however you're feeling."
On Wednesday, Dewar and MacKay — who have both been attending the church regularly — went to the Blue Christmas service for the second year.
"This year is tough 'cause Mara should be with us and she's not," Dewar said. "Everything we imagined isn't happening ... [Here] we get to be with people also struggling and honour her."
The couple is now expecting another daughter and say they're cautiously optimistic for the future.
"I'm excited, nervous and scared," Dewar said of being pregnant again. "This is a moment to remember Mara and be at peace with the anxiety a new baby brings."
With files from Megan Batchelor