Why I'm waiting until marriage to help clean the bathroom

There are things in life you can rush into, and there are things you cannot. I firmly believe that there are certain relationship milestones that should not be entered into until you are fully committed to someone.

That is why I'm waiting until my fiancée and I are married to help her clean the bathroom.

Now I know this cautious approach might make me seem a bit "traditional" but I don't want you thinking I'm a total fuddy-duddy.

For instance, my fiancée and I live together. I believe this is the only sensible, truly modern approach. You both need to know what it's like to live with the other before you make the commitment to cohabitate together forever.

But I think certain things are worth saving. So for now, she cleans the bathroom, and I take out the garbage. Unless I forget, in which case she does it. And if she forgets to clean the bathroom on the regularly scheduled day, I say hey, do it whenever you can.

I think it's up to me which areas of incompetence I demonstrate to and veil from my partner until the time of my choosing. I am hoping that the value of concealing of my absolute ineptness at cleaning the restroom (although there is also much laziness involved) will eventually make up for the rudeness of not helping out with the bathroom (this includes the sink, the tub, the toilet, and quite often the replacement of the toilet paper roll).

(Nor do I take out the bathroom garbage on the occasions that I remember garbage day, as I have deemed that to be a bathroom-related event rather than a garbage-related event.)

I believe this is all for the best: on the day we first arrive home as a married couple and I begin to assist in the bathroom chores, it will be a surprise to my fiancée how charmingly clueless I am about the whole process (a cluelessness that I am confident will manifest itself in a "bumbling but loveable Hugh Grant" sort of way rather than a "guy who hasn't put in the effort to learn necessary life skills" sort of way).

I don't demand that everyone join me in this approach to matrimony — simply that you attempt to understand it. Perhaps you have your own areas of combined laziness/lack of knowledge that you will attempt to keep sacred until after you wed, whether it's dusting the top shelf, making dinner, or —gentlemen, I know you're out there — repairing anything, literally anything at all.

In closing, just remember: if something's good enough, it's worth waiting for. (And please tell that to my fiancée if you see her, too.)

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