The definitive guide to taking wedding photos with your iPad

A wedding is a magical event where two people throw a big party that's heavily subsidized by the people attending. But how can you make sure to capture the memories of this wonderful day forever and ever? By relying on the "professional" photographers who have cameras worth several thousand dollars? No. Of course not. Ensure this moment in history is correctly preserved by using a device that we all have with us at every waking moment: the iPad. 

Legend has it that Steve Jobs actually created the iPad because he was tired of people inconspicuously taking photos with their phones. Taking a photo with your iPad makes your presence known, which stops any of those candid moment photos that everyone is so tired of seeing. 

This handy guide will show you how to be the hit of every wedding and leave every guest saying, "Oh, look, that person is taking pictures with their iPad."

1. Lead the way. Look for opportunities when one of the hired photographers is taking a photo, then step in front of them and take the photo yourself. The happy couple will feel more comfortable while being photographed by a friend, rather than an outsider. You'll definitely be able to capture their look of annoyance that the iPad seems to be uniquely capable of documenting.

2. Go big. Make sure to use the iPad Pro instead of the regular, or iPad mini. The smaller version—ranging from 8 to 9.5 inches—means you're more likely to lose it and less likely to be seen in a crowd. In a pinch, consider using the camera on your MacBook instead of the smaller iPads. 

3. Forget the focus. Your iPad includes the ability to focus on a particular person by touching the screen on that person's face. Whatever you do, don't do this. By having your photos completely out of focus, you'll appear more artistic. 

4. Get in the way. Make sure to block the view of those behind you as you take the photo. This way, guests will be able to see the happy couple on your iPad's 12 megapixels, rather than through their own eyes, which are surely fewer megapixels than that. They may not verbally thank you, but you'll be able to feel their overpowering gratitude.

5. Shake things up a bit. Don't just use your iPad for photos—it's great for videos as well! And a video that's extra shaky will add suspense, as witnessed in the 1999 hit The Blair Witch Project. Make sure to jump around during crucial points in the ceremony to leave viewers on the edge of their seats.

6. Change the angle. Many "professional" photographers will use a tripod for alignment. But slanted photos convey a sense of adventure. Every wedding should look like it was shot on the side of a mountain. 

7. Force the smile. Keep insisting that the happy couple say "cheese" as you take every photo. This will make for a more authentic smile (who can be anything but happy at the thought of delicious marble cheese?!) and will make them feel like kids again. 

8. Only shoot in portrait. Diversity is important in your Civil War-era sock collection, but not with photos. Make sure every photo—and video—is shot only in portrait orientation to leave guests wondering what may have been cut out of the shot.

9. Bring your own backdrop. Often, the background of wedding photos will contain clichés like a church or beautiful forest. But when you bring your own backdrops, guests can instantly be photographed in more unique locations, like outer space, or in front of lasers. 

10. Ask for permission six times before taking the photo. No one likes to have photos taken without their consent—you aren't the paparazzi. To ensure everyone is comfortable having his or her photo taken, ask for permission not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, not five times, but six times. This way, you'll make sixly sure that they're comfortable with the idea.

By using these tips, you can be sure that the next wedding you attend will be captured by someone who actually knows what they're doing. I hope one day to be invited to a wedding so I can try out these tricks, but until then let me know if they work for you!

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