The division of household chores between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson

Sherlock Holmes and his associate Dr. John Watson are unique and impressive men, to be sure. However, just like any roommates, they need a standard document outlining their respective duties and expectations when living under the same roof. Hereunder lies the first draft of that document, written by Sherlock Holmes, with notes subsequently added by Watson and Holmes.

DUTIES

1

WATSON: In charge of cleaning the floors.

HOLMES: In charge of asking Watson several probing questions regarding whether he has cleaned the floors, and the manner in which he cleaned them.

2

WATSON: In charge of taking out the garbage.

HOLMES: In charge of checking the garbage for Moriarty before Watson takes it out.

NOTE FROM WATSON: I'm afraid I don't see how this is terribly equal so far, Holmes. I would surely spot Moriarty when I was taking the garbage out anyway! I'd notice that it was heavy; heavy enough to contain a human. Also, he is not going to be in our garbage.

NOTE FROM HOLMES: The very idea that you would spot Moriarty before I would is a grave insult to me, a master detective. In response to this impudence, I am giving up my bathroom cleaning duty to you.

NOTE FROM WATSON: I already clean the bathroom!

NOTE FROM HOLMES: Yes, I have observed that. Clever, no?

NOTE FROM WATSON: No? How is that clever?

NOTE FROM HOLMES: ;)

NOTE FROM HOLMES: If you don't get it that's okay.

3

WATSON: To purchase, prepare, and cook the meals.

HOLMES: To check the meals for poisons using the latest methods.

NOTE FROM WATSON: …

NOTE FROM HOLMES: What's this intended to mean, old chap? Can't quite decode it. Which is a rare feeling for me, as you might well imagine.

NOTE FROM WATSON: You do see how this is insulting to me, yes Holmes?

NOTE FROM HOLMES: I didn't say that they would be poisoned on purpose.

NOTE FROM WATSON: You see how that is even more insulting to me, yes Holmes??

NOTE FROM HOLMES: Look, nobody said cooking was easy. But you have to remember, my job isn't easy either.

NOTE FROM WATSON: What, eating?

NOTE FROM HOLMES: I don't have a very big appetite!

NOTE FROM HOLMES: I bet you wish you had that problem sometimes. Just kidding.

NOTE FROM WATSON: I hope the next chore on this list is more work for you than me.

NOTE FROM HOLMES: I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

4

HOLMES: In charge of "doing his thing."

WATSON: In charge of simply watching… and learning from the best.

NOTE FROM WATSON: I'm moving out.

NOTE FROM HOLMES: Wait wait wait wait

NOTE FROM HOLMES: Okay. I'm sorry.

NOTE FROM HOLMES: You can check the garbage for Moriarty.

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