QUIZ: Is it a poisonous mushroom or a regular one, which are also disgusting and shouldn't be eaten?

Even those of us who haven't spent much time in the great outdoors know that a mushroom can either be completely harmless, or a fatal mistake.

"Harmless" is a relative term of course, as none of these beige fungi of horror should ever be consumed or tasted.

Why would you want to?

Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question to which the answer is: you shouldn't.

Take this quiz, if only because time spent taking this quiz is time not spent eating mushrooms.

Is this mushroom safe even if you cook it?

a. No, not in any way.
b. Yes, as long as it reaches a temperature of 350 degrees Celsius for 10 minutes.
c. Yes, as long as it reaches a temperature of 450 degrees Celsius for 10 minutes.
d. "Safe"? What do you mean safe, what does that matter? If it's safe does that mean you're going to eat it? That would be a terrible idea, because it's a mushroom. So let's say it's not "safe." Like not even if you burn it to ashes, although that would be a heck of a good start for any mushroom if you ask me.

Obviously the answer here is D.

Which of these mushrooms is not to be eaten?

a. Tube chanterelle
b. Gypsy
c. Angel wing
d. Lion's mane

If you chose C, you're quite likely to die.

But does that make C the correct answer? Because when you think about it, the best-case mushroom scenario in any instance would be that you die immediately afterwards, because then you won't have to live with the knowledge that you once ate a mushroom.

You shouldn't eat any of these mushrooms, nor any not listed here.

Which characteristic or colour is the greatest warning sign that you should not consume a mushroom?

a. Red with white spots
b. Dark brown fan on underside
c. Deep red without characteristic "mushroom cap"
d. Just any kind of mushroom look/colour. You know, mushrooms.

Why would you eat any of them? A, B, and C are all distinct aspects of the deadly amanita muscaria, ortinarius rubellus, and podostroma cornu-damae, which can cause immediate fatalities. D is a distinct aspect of mushrooms, however, so consumption is totally banned for all four choices.

You win this quiz if you don't eat a mushroom for one year after taking it; please check in with your results at that time.

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