INCREASED REACH: Canada Post offers to boost the next letter you send for $10

Never again let it be said that the world of "snail mail" is not keeping up with the modern pace of social media.

The future is here, and we at Canada Post are finally prepared to reckon with it.

That is why we are extremely happy to announce that for the foreseeable future, we will be offering an opportunity to boost the next letter you send for the very affordable price of $10.

You, the mailer, will of course retain the right not to boost your mail, except for the price of postage. Non-boosted letters will still be "delivered," in the technical sense, but that could mean a lot of things.

Yes, that's right, we will deliver it — anywhere in the postal code will do, right? Lot of garbage cans in that postal code, I bet. Rivers, too!

This is what you wanted, right?

Whereas if you make this small $10 payment through Canada Post's Ad Partner campaign, we can almost guarantee that the recipient will see it.

Now, we obviously realize there are many customers across this great land, and a diverse set of offerings is the only appropriate solution.

As such, this is not the only offer available to you. For $100, we will make sure that hundreds of people will see your letter. For $500? Thousands.

In fact, for your first letter, we will give you hundreds of dollars worth of bonus exposure free, whether it's a birthday card to your niece or a private letter to your father, and whether you choose it or not.

Not interested in the public at large viewing your mail? We understand. Mark Zuckerberg may not agree, but we still see the value of privacy.

That's why for only $1000, we will make sure that your intended recipient will see it, and that only your intended recipient will see it.

Surely many longtime Canada Post consumers will wonder why we are so hard-up for this cash.

We would be interested, then, in showing you how much stamp revenue we have lost out on since Facebook Messenger was invented.

Please stop by the office and ask. You know our postal code, that should get you started.

Or just add us on MySpace.

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