Man's Facebook post about quitting Facebook gets so many likes he stays

PETERBOROUGH, ON—Carl Simmons, a 27-year-old sandwich artist, has noticed that spending so much of his day engaging in the non-stop and oft-depressing world of social media is draining a lot of his time and energy of late, and that his stress levels are sky-high.

As a result, he took the extraordinary step of announcing, via public Facebook post, that he would be deactivating his account for the foreseeable future. Many people, both friends and strangers, supported Simmons in this decision and agreed with his sage words and inspiring new outlook.

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In fact, the post eventually garnered so many likes, shares, and comments that Simmons, buoyed by the encouragement, has decided to stay on Facebook, despite there being absolutely no change to all the reasons he had for leaving.

"It just felt great. It's great to have that kind of feedback and reinforcement. I think I'll stay," said Simmons, when reached over the little-used Facebook phone call function. "I can learn to juggle my priorities a little better. I can… yeah I can spend just a bit of time on Facebook every morning, and then stay off the rest of the day. Maybe check in at the end of the day again. And at lunch."

"Just some moderation is all it takes. That's never worked the hundreds of other times I've tried it, but it will work this time."

At press time, Simmons was trying out the new "Hello" function with a bunch of his friends, and was determined to only check his Facebook for a while every single time he got a "Hello" back, in addition, of course, to the morning, lunch, and evening check-ins, and maybe whenever else it crosses his mind.

This will be totally fine.

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