Great, simple breakfast ideas to own the libs with

Everyone knows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But just because it should be healthy doesn't mean it can't be tasty and fun! Here are some great, simple breakfast ideas that are a perfect way to start the day with (and own Libs).

Avocado Toast

If you're looking to start your day with something that's packed with protein and fiber, avocados are a great choice. To whip this meal up, take a ripe avocado, mash it on to some toast or a baguette, and drizzle on some oil and lemon juice. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot how much you "hipsters" love avocados. Does the sight of one of them being mashed to pieces TRIGGER you?  Ha.

Berry and Yogurt Smoothie

This may seem decadent, but it's actually low in calories and high in calcium. Just add ½ cup of blueberries, ½ cup of vanilla yogurt and ½ cup of ice to the blender, and voila! It's healthy and delicious! Oh dear. Does my freedom to have breakfast in a cup bother you nanny-state-loving liberals out there? "But breakfast must be a solid," you're probably writing in your "blog." Get over it!

Red Velvet Pancakes

Now here's a fun twist on breakfast! Mix flour, sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract and red food colouring, and then cook on the griddle! These silky smooth pancakes will really get you up on the right side of the bed. One warning though: it will upset the snowflakes that these pancakes are their favourite colour (communist red). Sounds like a great breakfast option to me though, seeing as I LIKE annoying snowflakes :)

Syrniki

This traditional Russian dish is fast and surprisingly easy to make! Whisk a batter of eggs, cottage cheese, flour and salt, and then deep-fry until they are a satisfying golden brown. Yum! Hey, you know what else is satisfying? Eating a meal from a country whose regime is SUPER offensive to cucks. Ha ha. I love it. (Why are you looking at me like that? I know I made fun of communist red before but this is different. Russia is good now. God.)

A Can of $1 Beer

Big Doug is in the house! Now that Ontario has paved the way for one-dollar beers, what better way to trigger the left than by drinking a couple of these bad boys for your first meal of the day?  If you feel sick around 1 p.m. that's just your body struggling with how much you're owning those university arts degree graduates ha ha. (Seriously though you may feel fairly sick).

Not Eating Breakfast At All

Oh yeah. That's right. The ultimate breakfast to own libs is to not eat breakfast at all. Think about it – aside from podcasts, identity politics, and being offended, libs love nothing more than having brunch. Imagine those lib-dinks lining up for 18-dollar eggs benedict while I troll them by not ingesting anything for many hours and just being very hungry until dinner? Very good!  Ugh… I need to… lie down.

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