Fun autumn crafts to make while your mom lists every person she knows with a recently-diagnosed disease!

Oh, god. It's happening. Again. It's a chilly Sunday night, you're chatting on the phone with your mother and, just like the first drops of rain signal a dark and ominous sky, your mom begins to lightly pepper the conversation with people she knows who've been recently diagnosed with cancer, Parkinson's, Type 2 diabetes, or MS.

Buckle up. It's going to be a good long while before your mom unleashes the full and unabridged list. If you want to make the most of the season while you gingerly express sympathy and concern for a burgeoning database of gravely ill strangers, consider putting your mother on speakerphone and unbeknownst to her, making these fun autumnal crafts!

Tea light mason jars!

Do you remember Gary, who worked with Dad at his first office? On Canmore? Well, your mom had lunch with Sue-Ann the other day and they're thinking it's diabetes. It's a dark time for Gary but it can be a brighter time for your houseguests if you simply take 6-8 clean mason jars, place a tea light at the bottom of each one, and marvel at how the warm glow of candlelight permeates the glass. Pretty!

Front door wreath!

Collect an armful of colourful leaves from your yard, or from the cemetery where Sharon's dad was recently laid to rest – you remember, he had a stroke last year while Sharon was in the Bahamas. It was terrible. She had to get on a standby flight home, took forever. Anyway, your mom is sure Sharon would appreciate an email from you. What do you mean, "which one's Sharon again?" She was the director of that science camp you went to when you were five!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pinecone bowls!

Carefully glue rows of pinecones to the outside of colourful Dollar Store bowls to create these fun, festive dining room accents. It's a quick and easy way to make your kitchen look amazing! Unfortunately, things aren't looking quite as good for Ken. Mary's sister's husband. Yeah, his cancer's back. He had the surgery, but they weren't able to get it all. Your mom has a card she'd like you to sign next time you're at the house.

Knitted bowl-warmers!

A cozy fall project for the knitters! This one requires a few more stitches than Helen needed last week when they removed her gallbladder, but it's still totally doable. What are you talking about, "Have I met Helen?" – of course you have, and Helen asks about you all the time! Surely you remember Julian from Hebrew school? Anyway. His mum.

Painted acorns!

Bust out your favourite reds, oranges, and yellows, and paint on whatever zany stripes or polka dots your heart desires! Gather a handful of these into a bowl, or scatter them across a table. Artfully sprinkle these delightful tree nuts as your mom states, "You remember Barb" with alarming confidence. What fun to be told exactly what you remember! "When we lived in the old house? She was the mailman's wife. Second wife. Remember he got remarried. Anyway. She has melanoma. So that's very sad."

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