BREAKING: Heroic man 'babysitting' own children again

EDMONTON, AB—In a stunning development, neighbours reportedly observed bank teller Simon Aldershot, 45, watching two children, ages 6 and 3 at a local playground shortly before dinnertime last night.

"I'm babysitting!" Aldershot laughed with a shrug as the neighbours walked by and waved.

"At first we thought, wow. What a guy. What a national treasure. An adult man, generously offering his time and energy to a friend in need, wanting nothing in return," explains Ingrid Stein, who spotted Aldershot pushing one of the kids on the swings.

"But then I looked closer and realized those were his own kids," she continued. "At that point I would have loved to stop and chat, but I had to get home to my teenage daughter. I recently entered my 14th consecutive year of this 'babysitting' job. I think the parents should be home by 2021."

"Oh gosh, did it sound ridiculous for a mom to say that?" she added. "I'm so sorry."

Aldershot, who parented his children for three hours last night while his wife Lena was out with friends, says he had a fun and largely uneventful evening "babysitting".

"First thing I did when I got to the house, I helped myself to the snacks in the cupboards," Aldershot shares. "Second cupboard I opened, I was like 'SCORE'! Because check it out – these people had like four different flavours of SunChips!!"

"This house is always really well-stocked in terms of snacks," Aldershot explained. "It's a big reason I keep agreeing to come back here to babysit."

After reading the kids the same book about a figure-skating bear 334 times at their request, Aldershot crept into the master bedroom and indulged in some cable television on an enormous flat-screen TV.

"The thing is huge," Aldershot gushed. "I got into all these weird TLC shows I never watch normally. Extreme Couponing, Casual Couponing, Pretty Chill Couponing, Dangerously Relaxed Couponing. It's all kind of junk but when else do I get to just zone out and call my best friend and make sarcastic comments on the phone while we watch it together?!"

"We had the best time!" confirms Aldershot's best friend Charlie, who lives on the other side of town and was heroically babysitting his own kids that night.

At press time, Lena had arrived home, was pleased that the kids were sleeping soundly and that there had been no emergencies, and then proceeded to make awkward small talk with Aldershot in the car as she drove him in a giant circle around the block before dropping him off at his house.

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.