P.E.I.'s problem with queerphobia

This First Person article is the experience of Dave Stewart, the vice-chair and a director for Pride P.E.I. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

We have a problem in Prince Edward Island.

As the much anticipated 2021 summer season rolled around, so too did the time to commemorate Pride here at home and around the world. Individuals and businesses, 2SLGBTQIA+ people and our allies, began raising Pride flags across the Island. 

It was a welcoming, inclusive sight — at least for a few days. 

Then, upwards of eight Pride flags were stolen from Victoria-by-the-Sea. A Pride flag was desecrated at the Holy Fox Food Truck in Cornwall. The Lucky Bean Cafe in Stratford had its Pride flag taken. Yet another Pride flag was stolen from Green Gay Bulls B&B in Vernon Bridge.

And most recently, duct tape representing the Progressive Pride colours was pulled up from the stairs of St. Paul's Anglican Church in Charlottetown without the knowledge of the church. 

Why it IS a big deal

As a gay person, I've come to accept any one of these criminal acts as "no big deal." And that's part of the problem. The fact is, each one of these acts is a big deal. By accepting this aggression against myself and my community, I was, in a most passive way, giving my approval to it.

The truth is, when you look at the number of hate-motivated actions perpetrated against P.E.I.'s queer community this summer, we have a problem. One that I can no longer ignore. 

At Pride P.E.I., where I am vice-chair and a director, these incidents have raised alarm bells. We're worried these actions will escalate. 

You see, when a slur is yelled at us out of a passing car's window, it isn't that the momentary sting of the insult is too great. It's that we've been conditioned to expect a physical altercation to come next. 

It's a post-primordial fight or flight response that queer people have developed in an attempt to stay safe that takes hold of us. 

And it's not OK that we've been conditioned to react — to feel — this way.  

How our allies can help

I fear that just as I had become conditioned to accept these acts, taken individually, as no big deal, the same is even more so true for the Island's straight community. 

When aggressions become commonplace — when it's systemic — we become immune to their true meaning.

I hope straight Islanders grasp the importance of what's happening here. That even though what's going on might be outside the scope of their experience, they will recognize this problem for what it is.

Hear us when we say: this is a problem. It is affecting our community. Let our lived experience ring true. This isn't about the queer community feeling insulted, it's fully about us protecting our safety. Let that sink in.

We're asking our allies to listen to us. To let us lead.

Google "How to be a queer ally." Call out queerphobia when you see or hear it. Help a queer person caught in a difficult or dangerous situation. Make no assumptions about any one of us, as we are all individuals. 

But first of all, we need to start by acknowledging that we have a problem. 

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