As civil war comes to an end, Syrians in N.B. ponder the future
People who fled Syria begin to contemplate whether to stay in Canada or return home
Fireworks, cheers and music drown out Reham Abazid's voice as she celebrates in front of city hall in Saint John.
"It's a feeling that you cannot explain at all, because there's no words to explain how we're happy or sad at the same time," Abazid said Monday as she and 150 other Syrians celebrated the end of the Bashar al-Assad regime.
"Because we've lost lots of people, some people still have no idea if their kids are still alive or not," she said.
After years of civil war that followed Assad's brutal crackdown on anti-government protesters in 2011, rebels made dramatic advances in late November that culminated in their taking Damascus early Sunday.
Abazid's eldest daughter was still a young child when the family came to Canada in 2016. She is now 14, old enough to ask questions.
"My daughter, she asked me, 'Why did you leave if you love your country that much?' I said, 'Because I have no options, I have to take you.'"
While relatives back home are phoning to explain how Syrians are cleaning the streets to rebuild, Abazid considers visiting. But she knows that she and her husband will never leave Canada.
"I need my kids to grow up in this country, because this country deserves a lot from us, and my kids have to repay what they gave to us from the beginning until now," she said.
Abazid responds with a laugh when asked if her kids are celebrating at city hall with her.
"I wish they were with me, but they are not. School is important too."
Noufa Alzaytoun was also celebrating. She came to New Brunswick eight years ago as an elementary-school-age child from Idlib in northwestern Syria.
"It's either I stay there and I die, or I come here and live. So I choose to come here and live," she said.
Describing Canada as the biggest thing in her life, Alzaytoun said she has only known life here but wants to return home.
"I'm excited to go and see my country. Canada, I will never forget Canada."
'We are New Brunswickers'
For Mohammad Bakhash in Fredericton, the past three days have been a blur of news flashing across his television as his five children look on.
"And they keep asking, 'Dad, isn't this the same news? Can't we change it now? Can't we put on our other things?'" Bakhash said.
"I say, 'I'm sorry for keeping this on, because it's not something that we might experience any more. So let's live this historical moment.'"
Bakhash, who came to New Brunswick in 2016, said he always knew this moment would come but never expected it to happen so quickly.
"We were happy but at the same time missing people who we [would] love to share with, this moment."
Many Syrians are still trapped in the vast prison system run by Assad, he said. The United Nations says Assad's regime has killed over 300,000 civilians.
Bakhash said it's still too early to plan a visit home to a family that his kids only know virtually through phone screens over brief calls.
His home city of Daraa where the revolution began in 2011 would likely be unrecognizable to him now, he said, as neighbours have moved away to other countries and buildings are destroyed.
"Everyone would love to go and meet their relatives there, their friends there. But I think it's not the right moment to take such a decision."
But what is clear to Bakhash is how well his children have adapted here. When the family discussed moving elsewhere in Canada years ago, the discussion didn't get far past his children.
"They said 'No, no, no, we're Frederictonians, we are New Brunswickers. We can go anywhere to visit but our home is Fredericton.'"
A family separated for years
After coming to Moncton as a refugee in 2016, Siwar Jneid is now the proud co-owner of a hair studio. As he watched Syria change overnight, Jneid said he couldn't believe Assad fell so quickly.
The war is personal for Jneid, who described how his "big family" has been shattered.
"I cannot explain to you how we were scared," Jneid said.
He said his father and three of his brothers were killed by the Assad regime. For his mother, two brothers and three sisters still in Syria, life is looking better.
"It's still in the beginning, but we can feel the change," Jneid said. "The people on the street have nothing to be scared of anymore. They can say whatever they feel like.
"When I go to bed, I feel like I'm still in a dream."
After being away from his family since coming to Canada, Jneid said he's now planning a trip home.
"I cannot wait now, I'm so excited. I'm going to have a little bit of shopping to bring a gift for my family."
Jneid said he loves Canadians and how they took him in.
"But we still need some time to go home and see the family. We will have a wonderful new year, a wonderful Christmas."
Dreams to be free at home
Nora Sayabrans works with Jneid at his hair studio and has lived in Moncton for a decade since fleeing a Damascus suburb.
"Sometimes it doesn't feel too good when I remember about it, especially at the time since I was a kid," she said, describing memories of the government killing people in their homes.
Watching the news has felt like getting her country back, she said.
"They can finally spread their feelings in their home and in their country, how they feel about the government, for anything.
"At some point I would love to go and live back there. … Because Damascus has a really special place in my heart, it would be really nice to be there, be free."
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With files from Hadeel Ibrahim