NEW YORK CITY, NY—Donald Trump decided to abruptly pull his disaster of a healthcare bill off the House floor because he did not have enough votes to push it through, and Kira Temples, a representative from Planned Parenthood, took the opportunity to offer a gentle reminder to the troubled president.

"Oh, sweetie," she sighed. "Pulling out is not an effective method. Never has been. You're really setting yourself up for just a huge mess."

"You're not alone," she urged. "You're like the ninth petulant adolescent boy I've had to talk to about this issue in the last hour."

Trump's healthcare bill included a measure to defund Planned Parenthood, which provides millions of women with affordable healthcare including various options for contraception.

"I have to say, I'm not surprised that the president isn't familiar with any other methods besides 'pull out and pray,'" Temples continued. "Republicans replaced most of the sex ed in this country with handshakes and unicorns."

"It's going to be a tense couple of weeks while the country waits for the fallout of this decision," Temples cautioned before once again addressing the president directly. "Mr. President, if you're feeling anxious, or if you need someone to talk to while you sweat it out, our doors are always open. For now, anyway."