BURLINGTON, ON—After Tim Hortons' parent company Restaurant Brands International purchased fried chicken restaurant Popeyes this week, they have wasted no time in synergizing the two brands by introducing a campaign they are calling 'Roll Up the Skin to Win', a contest that promises to be as exciting as it is disgusting.

"This is a really exciting acquisition and campaign for us," said Restaurant Brands International CEO Daniel Schwartz and Popeyes Chief Marketing Officer Dick Lynch, in a joint statement. "This will give customers an experience that they have always loved at Tim Hortons, but with more of a 'Popeyes' feel, by which we mean very fun but also a little bit gross."

Says a further release by the company, "Upon lifting the flap of greasy, battered chicken skin, the customer will find a message written both on the chicken and the underside of the detachable and redeemable skin flap in their choice of any of Popeyes' signature sauces, including Barbeque, Sweet Heat, Blackened Ranch, Mardi Gras Mustard, and the new Bayou Buffalo. (Buttermilk Ranch will be excluded due to its lack of legibility as a "font" against the backdrop of the similarly-coloured white chicken meat.)"

"We felt as uncomfortable writing that last sentence as you did reading it," it concluded.

Though details are still being finalized, at press time it was rumoured that customers will be able to win similar prizes to those offered by the Roll Up the Rim contest, although if offered a free piece of Popeyes chicken they are able to choose instead biscuits, coleslaw, or just nothing at all. You are definitely allowed to not have anything.