You are: Billy from the Whitehorse location! Company policy says "no beards" but you're a rebel. A fighter. A bassist in a Motorhead cover band. Now "the man" is forcing you to pin down that beautiful face-mane with a corporate muzzle: a beard net. You don't care. The band's got a gig coming up that will send you to outer space or at least to northern BC.

You are: Gertie from the Flin Flon, Manitoba location! Fiercely loyal and always reliable, you started working at this location in 1922 when it was just a beet cart on the side of the highway. Some say it's the Ice Capp syrup that has preserved your cheery spirit like a mosquito frozen in amber. You will outlive us all.

You are: Rahj from the combination Tim's/Wendy's just outside Sackville, NB! You are patient and kind and you've gotten really good at hiding your anger while your manager insists on calling you "Roger" even though your name is spelled phonetically on your nametag.

You are: Jaycee, the alarmingly young looking female from the Oshawa OnRoute! You are sprightly and disarming. You are either 13 or 20, but you'll never tell which, because you're definitely 13.

You are: Bonnie from the Trudeau Airport parking garage location! You are bold and unafraid to speak your mind. You're not here to make friends. You're here to make coffee. That's why you are often heard saying: "They call me Big B—you can call me Bonnie, or you can call me b****, I don't care as long as you stay out of my way."

You are: Sven, the rat who lives in the dumpster behind the Tim's in Pouch Cove, Newfoundland! You never stop smiling. The best days of your life are the days they throw out bagels. Which is every day! Also, you have rabies.

You are: Leo, the baker from the Moose Jaw Mini Putt location! You might start your day while your friends are still out clubbing, but you're not bitter. You find joy in the little things, like spitting on every Timbit.

You are: Ellen from the Tim's inside an abandoned lobster trap in Cornwall, PEI! You are stubborn and don't have time for nonsense or unnecessary syllables. That's why you've converted the standard drive-thru greeting, "Good Morning, may I take your order please?" to a more efficient, "Morningmaker Ordaplease."

You are: Carl, the supervisor of the Barrie Funeral Home Tim's! A feisty fighter, you will throw coffee in the face of the next person who demands his double double be "well-stirred." You know how many times to stir a coffee. That's why you're the supervisor.

You are: Nathaniel from the Winnipeg Jets Change Room location! You are known for your persistence and determination. Sure, you've smoked so much pot that you can barely see. But that doesn't stop you from hurling plates out the window like Frisbees when no one is watching.

You are: Andy, the manager of the Tim's strapped to a moose's back wandering somewhere outside of Red Deer! Energetic and proud, you drive a 2003 Hyundai Tiberon and won't stop telling people "Tiberon" means "Shark."

You are: an Old Fashioned Dipped Donut at the Tim's inside of the Tim's inside of a strip mall in Dartmouth! While your name may be Old Fashioned, your personal style is very modern. You will meet your untimely end in the mouth of an exhausted hitchhiker.