QUEBEC CITY, QC—On the eve of 2017's first French-language Conservative debate that will tackle the topics of government, taxes, security, and defence, the candidates are expected to deeply explore the relevant topics of the moment, including the particularly timely matter of "Thank you very much, what is the name of your orange cat?"

Calgary MP Deepak Obhrai says that he is going to push his opponents hard throughout the debate, and ask the tough questions to which Canadians truly want answers, for instance, "Who is eating the salad with my uncle?"

"This is something Canadians need to know," he explained, "and that frankly, neither the Prime Minister nor my opponents have discussed. What kind of salad? Where is my uncle? All of this is important."

Lisa Raitt, MP for the riding of Milton, admits that her French is not as strong as she wishes, but states that this will in no way limit her ability to express herself. "I may not be as 'flowery' as some others up there on the stage tonight, but I will get down to the nitty-gritty, down to brass tacks. I certainly have the words at my disposal to figure out, now hold on here everybody, let's ask ourselves, what is the colour of the tall man's car? How many times does he drive it?"

​Kellie Leitch has attracted perhaps the most attention of any candidate in the race, and that is not likely to change tonight. Her team says that she is ready and willing to fight, and excited to present herself to the Canadian people and tell her opponents, "Thank you, I call myself Kellie Leitch, thank you. And what is your name? That is nice, I am wearing green pant (sic) and also blue shirt with long sleeves."

What's the last word on how it will all go tonight? Reached for comment, perhaps Erin O'Toole said it best: "The evening and debate will going both to be nice, and thank you for asking, I am 43 years of old."