My sister is connected to MMIWG, but Kendara's life was so much more than her death
I initially found it difficult to attend the events and family gatherings organized in her name
This First Person column is written by Gloria Ballantyne-Packo, the sister of Kendara Ballantyne. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.
My little sister Kendara Ballantyne went missing in July 2019. She was found dead in August of that same year in The Pas, Man.
It has been three years and police haven't made any arrests. Kendara's name is included now in the much too long and growing list of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls (MMIWG).
Other media have covered Kendara's story. But I don't want people to remember my little sister as "missing woman found in The Pas." I want people to remember "Kendara Ballantyne."
Kendara was and remains to this day one of the people I love the most. I could talk about her all day.
Kendara was such a strong person. She was loving, caring, funny, sassy and thoughtful. She gave the absolute best hugs. She would run up and squeeze you with all the love she had while giggling away. I miss those hugs every day.
In our family, Kendara and I were closest in age so we could easily relate to each other. We never ran out of things to talk about. One time, we were talking before bed about random things like our favourite colours. The next thing we knew it was 7 a.m. and we were in a deep conversation about what we wanted out of life.
Kendara had dreams of travelling, continuing her education, watching the little ones in our family grow up, getting older with her friends, and living on her own. She told me that when she had her own place, she wanted to always have spaghetti in the fridge so that people could have something to eat when they visited or needed a place to stay. She wanted to make sure people knew that they were loved and cared for no matter what they were going through.
We thought we had years and years to experience things together.
Kendara deserved the world and all it could offer, but she was taken from us too soon. She was only 18. She didn't even get to graduate high school.
When Kendara died, I was living in Calgary. Soon after, I moved back to The Pas to support my family as we grieved together.
Kendara was always so present in everything we did as a family that I initially found it difficult to attend the events and family get-togethers that were organized in her name. Everything reminded me of her and I didn't know how to process such a sudden and traumatic loss. I just wanted to forget the pain that I was feeling.
I realized I was pushing myself away from the only people in my life who could understand the kind of grief I was experiencing. I had a conversation with my mom about how I just wanted to move on. But she said, "if you forget, it's like you're saying that other people are allowed to forget."
That is the last thing I wanted so I started spending more time with my family. Over time, the things that reminded me of Kendara came to me with fondness rather than pain.
Since Kendara's death, my family and I have been doing a lot to make sure her name is out there and to ensure her life is honoured and remembered. We never want her to be forgotten.
On Aug. 6, we will host the third Annual Remembering Kendara Memorial Walk. It begins behind University College of the North in The Pas, where her remains were discovered, and will end in a park beside graffiti that says "Justice for Kendara."
In June, the second Kendara Ballantyne Memorial Award will be given to a local high school student because we recognize what an accomplishment it is to graduate.
As we continue to do things in her memory, we hope that one day soon our family will be able to say that we were able to get justice for Kendara.
Her legacy of love is something that I hope to carry with me always. I am so thankful that she and I got to exist in the same lifetime together, but I miss my little sister so much!
I am so proud of who she was and the impact she left. I hope that I can live a life that would've made her proud of me too.
Gloria Ballantyne-Packo is the sister of Kendara Ballantyne. She is a family oriented 23-year-old Indigenous woman living in The Pas, Man., who continues to advocate for Kendara and MMIWG awareness.
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This segment originally aired in March, 2022.