He 'took the life of my friend': Sunday services time for reflection, healing, understanding

At the packed Watermark Dallas evangelical church on Sunday, Pastor Todd Wagner spoke about the ensuing chaos from Thursday, when five Dallas police officers were gunned down, and how he texted a few of his friends on the force, including church member Michael Smith.

"He never texted me back,"  said Wagner. 

Smith, 55, one of the officers killed that evening, was too busy running towards trouble, giving his life to ensure that people had the right to protest, Wagner said.

He would also provide security for the pre-school classrooms, and was known by many of the young members as just 'Officer Mike'.

"He was a blessing to us. He was a blessing to this city."

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Wagner's sermon, more personal because of his connection to Smith, sounded on larger themes that were likely being preached this Sunday at churches across the city. Sunday gave religious leaders a chance to address their members, possibly seeking comfort or understanding, and an opportunity to discuss the deadly events in Dallas. 

But it was also a chance to discuss the issues of racial strife across the U.S. and the importance of healing festering spiritual wounds and understanding differences.

Wagner spoke about the gunman, Micah Johnson, and how he wished he had known him before that fateful Thursday night. And if not him, then he said he wished there had been somebody who knows Jesus who could have listened to Johnson, and understood his anger, rage and motivation.

'Evil act'

There was no justification for what he called Johnson's "evil act."

"It took the life of my friend," Wagner said.

Wagner said it was tragically misinformed — he described it as the anger of man who didn't solve problems, but created problems for his city and himself.

Police did the right thing by subduing Johnson with deadly force, Wagner stressed. Still, people need to learn to care about how people feel.

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"There are still Micah Johnsons all over our city, all over our country, all over our world and Christ wants you to go to  them and to love them," he said. "And when they act out in anger, you realize it's hurt people who hurt people."

Perspective changed on Black Lives Matter

​People need to understand how black people in America have different experiences with some law enforcement, Wagner said. He recently gained a new perspective of Black Lives Matter, Wagner told his mostly white congregation. Initially, he thought it was a racist and divisive movement, because from his perspective, all lives matter.

But with the help of his black friends, he said that perspective has changed, and he has come to a different understanding.

"When someone says to you, 'My house is on fire,' it's not compassionate for you to say, 'all houses matter.' When I say, 'my stomach needs food' and you're well fed and say, 'all stomachs need food,' and I don't have food, you're not helping me."

Instead, he said that when someone says Black Lives Matter, ask why they are saying that.

"Are you telling me that you think I don't believe that? Is there something I've done personally to make you feel that way? Because man, I want to ask you to forgive me if I've ever made you feel that your life doesn't matter. Because your life matters a lot to me."

Hold hands and pray

Meanwhile, across town at the Concord Church of Dallas, Pastor Bryan Carter also spoke of the events in Dallas, but focused more on the racial divide in the country. He began his service for his predominantly black congregation by asking them to hold hands and pray.

He asked for prayers for the city, its leaders, and the police. But he also asked that his church members pray for the family of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, two black men fatally shot by police last week. And he asked for prayers for Black Lives Matter, and for racial healing and harmony.

Each church member had received an index card when they entered the church, and Carter asked everyone to write down how they were feeling and what God was calling them to do.

"Whatever that may be. You're feeling concerned, or angry or feeling hurt. So many people in this room have been affected so many ways this past week."

Carter said his "soul is downcast" over the events of the past week, but also from other police shootings of black men, from the lack of prosecution against those officers, and for those who belive that we live in a post-racial world because the U.S. has a black president.

Racism takes many forms, he said, from the white man who stormed into a black Charleston church and killed nine people, to the events on Thursday.

"Either way racism continues to exist. We cannot erase 350 years since 50 years of the civil rights movement."

Members of his congregation are feeling confused, angry, uncertain, and frustrated, Carter told reporters following his sermon.

'Looking for a safe place'

"They are looking for a safe place, they've been in their home watching the news over and over again and on social media. This is the first time they've come to a gathering, they've come to a safe place and you can share how you feel."

Leo Evans, who was one of the members who wrote on the back of one of the index cards, said he expressed his anger and concern.

"I am angry about so many people getting killed for no reason and I'm concerned about getting someone to step up and speak up."​