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What 'cancelling' your dad's vote says about the U.S. election's gender divide

Can you actually cancel out someone else's vote? Not really, but in a tight presidential race in a deeply divided country, U.S. voters are still trying — or at least making light of it.

Even Tim Walz's daughter Hope got in on the trend that's all over TikTok

Woman stand in the foreground of an  american flag
Women sit under a U.S. flag as they gather to hear Vice-President and Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris during a rally in Madison, Wisc., on Wednesday. (Roberto Schmidt/AFP/Getty Images)

Can you actually cancel someone else's vote? Not really, but in a tight presidential race in a deeply divided country, U.S. voters are still trying — or at least making light of it.

With the U.S. election just days away, social media is rife with people claiming to be "cancelling out" the votes of family members and friends with differing political views. It began with a Gen Z TikTok trend that later spread to X where voters have been posting tongue-in-cheek videos saying they're cancelling the votes cast by their parents.

Specifically, most of the TikTok posts are about "voting to cancel your dad," the implication often being that the voter's father is more conservative. It's also inspired a sub-trend of people posting about being grateful that they don't have to cancel out a vote. (And, because it's the internet, a sub-sub-trend of people sarcastically saying "how nice for you.")

On X, formerly known as Twitter, the trend has broadened further, where there are also a number of posts about cancelling your partner's vote. 

"What do you mean you're on your way to 'cancel out your husband's vote?' You should be on your way to the courthouse. Divorce babe. Divorce," wrote Lexi LaFleur Brown on a post with more than 1.6 million views.

The posts are generally light in tone, but experts have noted that they reflect the vast gender divide in U.S. politics and the role that could play in what polling experts have called one of the most gendered elections in history.

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The TikTok videos point to a serious concern — the challenge of maintaining relationships across political lines — but do so in a really lighthearted manner, says Zorianna Zurba, a pop culture expert and assistant professor in the Creative School at Toronto Metropolitan University. 

"The choice here is drastic," said Zurba. "They're using the language of TikTok to make light of a very uncomfortable and very serious situation."

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Walz's daughter jumps on trend

In early voting so far, 1.2 million more women than men have voted across seven battleground states, according to data from analytics firm TargetSmart. That doesn't necessarily translate into Democratic gains.

But in the 2020 presidential election, 55 per cent of women supported the Democratic ticket of Joe Biden and Harris, according to AP VoteCast, a survey of more than 110,000 voters. This year, men appear to be leaning toward Trump and women toward Harris, though the size of the gap varies across polls

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Harris's running mate, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, right, walks off his campaign plane with his daughter, Hope Walz, as they arrive in Avoca, Pa., before a campaign event on Oct. 25. (Christopher Dolan/The Times-Tribune/The Associated Press)

On Tuesday, Hope Walz jumped on the trend. The daughter of Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz posted a video on the Kamala HQ TikTok account on why she doesn't have to cancel out her dad's vote.

"My dad is literally running for vice-president to protect the rights of women and girls, tackle climate change, lower costs for families and make Kamala Harris the next president of the United States," she wrote in the video, alongside a photo of her sitting on her dad's shoulders as a baby.

By Friday it already had more than six million views.

Cancelling your husband's vote

The gender divide is also the topic of a few recent ads encouraging female voters to make their own decisions. Pro-democracy organization the Lincoln Project recently released an ad called "The Secret," in which two men think their wives are voting for Trump, but instead they vote for Harris.

In another ad narrated by Julia Roberts, for the Evangelical voting advocacy group Vote Common Good, a woman whose husband appears to be a Trump supporter secretly votes for Harris.

George Clooney narrates a second ad for the organization, in which male voters walk into a polling station saying "Let's make America great again," and one secretly votes for Harris after looking at his daughter.

"Before you cast your vote in this election, think about how it will impact the people you care about the most," Clooney says as a young girl waves and says, "Daddy!" to the man voting.

There's a very specific talking point coming out of Conservative and right-wing media, supported by the manosphere culture, that it "goes against God" to vote against your husband, says pop culture and digital media expert Shana MacDonald, the O'Donovan Chair in Communication at the University of Waterloo.

So it's interesting, she says, how the Democratic campaign is responding with ads like these saying this is an issue of women's rights.

"This is an issue of a dominant strain of sexism that is circulating and influencing and reforming women's sense that they have a right to choose who they vote for, and it's kind of dispelling that myth," MacDonald said.

The ads have angered some Trump supporters, like political activist Charlie Kirk, who said on Megyn Kelly's podcast this week that the "marital subversion tactic" represents "the embodiment of the downfall of the American family."

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What's at stake?

Harris "quite smartly" hasn't made her own gender and the fact she could be the first female U.S. president a wedge issue, MacDonald says, explaining it would make her a target for what she sees as an increasing misogynistic backlash.

But women's rights and reproductive justice have become a wedge issue amid the rise of an anti-woman sentiment in some large influencer cultures, such as the manosphere and Trad Wives, she added.

"This is very clearly an election where bodily autonomy and reproductive justice rights are absolutely at stake, there's no doubt," MacDonald said.

"I think it's really interesting how much this election has brought out really clear wedge issues and divisions that run along gender lines."

Of course, you can't actually cancel out someone's vote, Zorba pointed out, explaining that votes are cumulative. However, she pointed out, if the trend "encourages people to get out and vote, that's a good thing."

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Natalie Stechyson

Senior Writer & Editor

Natalie Stechyson has been a writer and editor at CBC News since 2021. She covers stories on social trends, families, gender, human interest, as well as general news. She's worked as a journalist since 2009, with stints at the Globe and Mail and Postmedia News, among others. Before joining CBC News, she was the parents editor at HuffPost Canada, where she won a silver Canadian Online Publishing Award for her work on pregnancy loss. You can reach her at natalie.stechyson@cbc.ca.

With files from The Associated Press