Man forced to brush teeth tops list of silly 911 calls

The silliest calls placed to police in the Ontario municipality of Chatham-Kent in 2012 involved inaccurate weather reports, suspicious looking squirrels and the theft of a Tim Hortons prize lot consisting of a free coffee and doughnut.

The winner, though, according to police, was a 20-year-old who called police to complain that his dad was forcing him to brush his teeth.

Police were called to the domestic dispute between a 63-year-old father and his 20-year-old son after the son refused to brush his teeth.

Police were able to talk the son into brushing his teeth right away and making his father happy.

Second place went to a woman who called police to report that she had been attacked by a duck, which subsequently sat in a puddle and watched her.

The woman was not injured and officers failed to locate the duck upon their arrival. 

Rounding out the top three was a woman who called police to report that her drug dealer was lacing her crack with something that caused her to hallucinate and hear voices. She simply asked police to make him stop doing that.

For the fourth consecutive year, the police service just east of Windsor, Ont., published its list of silliest calls. This year's list consists of 12, up from 10 in 2011.

Top 12 silly calls of 2012

The full list from the Chatham-Kent Police Service:

12. A man went to the Wallaceburg police station and asked if anyone had turned in his lost dentures. He still had his top teeth, but he was looking for his bottoms.

11. A man called police to report that his unlocked vehicle had been entered. Stolen from the car were a winning doughnut and coffee tabs from Tim Hortons.

10. A man called police to report that two girls damaged his car. However, the evidence indicated that the white substance on the car had been left by birds and not girls.

9.  A man called police claiming he had just been struck by a vehicle. The man provided full a description of the suspect vehicle, but after an investigation, the man admitted that he had tripped over a trailer hitch in the driveway while intoxicated.

8. A man called 911 to report that there was a squirrel on his front porch acting in a suspicious manner.

7. A man called 911 to report that there was a large snapping turtle on the sidewalk and that the turtle appeared to be getting ready to jump into traffic.

6. A woman called police to report that she had just been threatened by her downstairs neighbour. As the woman had watered her plants, some water apparently dripped onto her neighbour’s dog below.

5. A 13-year-old youth called police to report that her mother would not allow her to do her own laundry.

4. A man called police in January to complain about the weather report he just heard on a local radio station. The station, he said, reported "slight flurries" when he insisted he was driving in a "snowstorm."

3. A woman called police to report that her drug dealer was lacing her crack causing her to hallucinate and hear voices.  She asked police to make him stop doing that.

2. A woman who called police to report that she had been attacked by a duck, which subsequently sat in a puddle and watched her. The woman was not injured and officers failed to locate the duck upon their arrival.

1. Police were called to a family dispute between a father and his adult son. The son called police because his father told him to brush his teeth and he didn’t want to. Police calmed the dispute by talking the 20-year-old son into brushing his teeth right away, thus making his 63-year-old father happy.

Worst drivers and speeders, too

Chatham-Kent police also revealed its worst driver of the year. Police said a man called to report that a woman was curling her hair while driving, causing her to swerve across the centre line. Police located the woman, who was charged with careless driving.

The best speeding excuse went to a woman who tried to cover all the bases, when she offered up three explanations, all within 30 seconds:

• Her ovary burst and she was on her way to hospital.
• She was diabetic and needed insulin.
• She had diarrhea and needed a washroom.

Police said the woman finally admitted that she was lying and apologized to the officer.

Finally, the cutest call of 2012 went to a three-year-old boy who called 911 while watching the Disney Pixar animated movie Cars. The boy was concerned for the safety of Lightning McQueen when Chick Hicks was chasing him.