'I had to start from zero:' Rebuilding networks a difficult reality for Windsor immigrants
In CBC Windsor's Halfway to Home series, immigrants give honest accounts of what it's like to start a new life
Halfway to Home: Immigration Stories, a five-part series, began April 24 on Windsor Morning. Tune in on our CBC Listen app or live at 97.5 FM. We'll also be at the Budimir branch of the Windsor Public Library on Saturday for the event Creating Space.
Who could forget the guy with the ascot tie?
That's what Willys Abali told himself as he put on the wide, formal necktie before heading out to a University of Windsor open house, and again before heading to a job fair — and to many events after that.
Before then, Abali — a Nigerian immigrant who arrived in Windsor, Ont., as an international student — had thought a Canadian education would be his ticket to a great engineering career.
But as graduation approached, he could see he needed something else: connections.
"I realized, I don't know anybody who I could reach out to, to say: 'Do you know someone who knows someone who knows someone?'" he said. "I had no network."
LISTEN | Hear the fourth episode, which is focused on networking
In Episode 4 of Halfway to Home, series creator Aman Ghawanmeh spoke to Abali, who arrived to Windsor 2005, and Helena Palma-Kurek, an accountant who arrived from Peru the same year, to be with her husband who lived here.
Halfway to Home highlights the experiences of immigrants in Windsor-Essex. About one in five people living in the region arrived as newcomers, which means it has the 11th largest immigrant population in the country, according to Statistics Canada.
During a conversation at Windsor Public Library's Budimir Branch, Abali and Palma-Kurek shared their own network-building stories, recalled early attempts to make themselves "memorable," and offered tips for newcomers.
WATCH | Aman Ghawanmeh, Helena Palma-Kurek and Willys Abali talk about networking:
CLICK HERE | to watch the full 37-minute conversation on YouTube
Starting from scratch
When it came to finding a job in finance, Palma-Kurek realized quickly that her accounting experience and skills were not enough in Canada. She didn't know anyone who could put in a good word for her or even point her to work in her field.
Her husband is a Polish immigrant who had a small friend group at the time, and neither he, nor Palma-Kurek, had family in Windsor.
"I was on my own," she said. "What I realized was that I had to start from zero."
It wasn't easy. She had been so confident when she arrived in Canada. She knew she was capable — good at her profession. But in the months that followed, she started to lose hope.
"I struggled," she said. "I was hesitant. I was questioning myself."
Being shy, Palma-Kurek had to push through her discomfort to find connections. She turned to Women's Enterprise Skills Training of Windsor (WEST), and started enrolling in every language, job and resumé-building program she could find. She went to events, volunteered and made friends.
It took years, but she didn't give up and eventually achieved her goal to work in her field — she's now a certified management accountant in Windsor.
'The perfect storm not to succeed'
Lonely and away from his family — often unable to call when he needed them due to the time difference — Abali struggled to figure out school and make connections with peers or teachers in classes where he felt lost among hundreds of students.
"It was the perfect storm not to succeed," he said. "Lots of lessons learned.
These days, in addition to his career as a manufacturing engineer, Abali is dedicated to helping other people benefit from those lessons — both as a mentor to newcomers and international students and through his Abali Group, which promotes international trade.
He's involved with the Southwestern Ontario Black Entrepreneurship Network and the Black Professionals Networking Association, and he finds ways to connect newcomers and international students to people who can help them.
Networking: 'The best way to find a job'
"We know networking is the best way to find a job," said Michelle Suchiu, vice-president of strategic partnerships at Windsor Essex Local Immigration Partnership, noting experts say 70 per cent of all jobs are found that way.
"But it's often a gap for newcomers to Canada, because often the focus is on survival," she added.
Employment and immigrant-serving organizations often try to address the gap, with networking programs and events.
Suchiu said immigrants can also meet people and make business connections at local Chamber of Commerce events and by signing up for community service clubs.
Sometimes survival mode means newcomers don't have time to form social connections that will benefit themselves and eventually their adult children, said Ghawanmeh, who was 12 when her family arrived in Windsor in 2006.
"My friends and I always grunt and moan that we don't have the connections that we should," she said with a laugh.
"Our parents barely had time to put food on the table, let alone to go to events or try to make friends in various fields."
'I had to do the uncomfortable'
During his school years, Abali said, there was another international student who attended every event possible.
"Every holiday, he was invited to a home for a meal," he said. "People remembered him."
Abali self-reflected on this. He said he's an introvert by nature, but he had to make a choice.
"I had to do the uncomfortable. I had to start going to events. And not only just that, I had to make myself stand out," Abali said.
"People remember the guy with the ascot."
For more stories about the experiences of Black Canadians — from anti-Black racism to success stories within the Black community — check out Being Black in Canada, a CBC project Black Canadians can be proud of. You can read more stories here.
With files from Aman Ghawanmeh