Toronto couple say sex designation not necessary on identity cards

Following what could be the world's first gender-free health card issued to a child in British Columbia, a Toronto couple is speaking out in support of dropping sex designation from identity cards altogether.

Ashley McGhee and Barb Besharat​ say government records should steer clear of assigning sex because of the assumed gender that goes along with it.

"One's gender identity has no correlation with their anatomy," said McGhee. "So when we're asking for someone to tell us their sex that was assigned at birth, they're really just indicating what they have between their legs structurally."

"But that's actually not telling us information about how they live in the world and who they perceive themselves to be."

The couple see the common conflation of sex designation with gender identity as one that may pose problems for people.

In the B.C. case, parent Kori Doty, who identifies as gender-neutral, requested a non-binary health card for their child, Searyl Atli.

"I'm not assuming that Searyl is going to be cis-gendered. I'm also not assuming that Searyl is going to be trans," Doty told CBC News.

• Parent fights to omit gender on B.C. child's birth certificate
• Should birth certificates be gender neutral?

"I'm leaving room for them to determine who they are, and trying to encourage the system to get out of the business of certifying guesses."

Alti's health card now has a "U" in the field that usually identifies someone as being male or female. The "U" presumably stands for "unassigned" or "undetermined."​

"My hope is that they get what's best for Searyl," Besharat​ said.

Policy reviews in Ontario

In May, the Ontario government said it's looking at changing its own policy about sex designation on birth certificates — an unpopular proposal according to a recent Angus Reid poll.

The survey found that 57 per cent of respondents were opposed to the addition of a third, non-binary option on official documents.

Besharat said that instead of including a third category, the sex designation field should be removed altogether.

"I would prefer that sex wasn't on the card at all," said Besharat. "I think that having a third option can create a barrier to that little person depending on who they grow up to be."

"A good question to ask is why that particular piece of information is useful to have on that card."

'Gender-expansive parenting'

While others fight on the policy front, Besharat and McGhee have mostly focused on raising their toddler.

McGhee describes the couple's parenting style as "gender-expansive," and argues that it's within the rights of any parent to be more or less gender-expansive as they see fit, at least until the child is old enough to determine their own identity.

• Ontario puts off writer's quest for a non-binary birth certificate
• Not a man, not a woman: Why this writer wants a non-binary Ontario birth certificate

"The idea is that based on how Ollie was assigned at birth, we don't want to limit them around expectations or opportunities for them based on what the assumed gender identity is supposed to be in connection to the anatomy."

"We are committed to expanding what gender looks like in Ollie's life."

The couple say when shopping, they look at colour palettes and the messaging on clothing but shop on "both sides of the department store". The pair say that while they're mindful of the language they use to address Ollie, they recognize that "gender is quite pervasive."

"We can't really, in our world right now, live outside of gender," McGhee said.

The couple ask friends, family and service providers to use neutral pronouns, but say they aren't militant about it if somebody genders Ollie mistakenly.

"We don't believe there's anything wrong with being a boy or being a girl," said Besharat, "So why would we go out of our way to correct them as though it's a bad thing?"

"There are many gender-expansive ways of raising your children and less gender-expansive ways and those are all of your rights as a parent to choose how you are going to raise your child."