Thunder Bay moms remember their children to mark day of overdose awareness

For Karen Krzyzewski, connecting with other parents who've lost loved ones to addictions and drug overdoses is about supporting each other, but also emphasizing their children were much more than their personal struggles.  

Wednesday marked International Overdose Awareness Day, so Krzyzewski was among people in Thunder Bay sharing their stories, stressing the importance of helping individuals who are still struggling while remembering those who've died.

Thunder Bay had the highest death rate from opioid overdoses in the province from April 2021 to March 2022: 82.1 per 100,000 people, according to preliminary data released by the Ontario Office of the Chief Coroner. There were 118 confirmed opioid deaths and nine probable deaths in the Thunder Bay District Health Unit service area.

"People have to know what's going on in our city and in all cities. It's a tragedy," said Krzyzewski, whose daughter died of an overdose six years ago. "These children have lost their lives and we moms are continually picking up the pieces — sometimes not so well, but we have each other." 

Across Ontario, the coroner's office data indicates there were 2,795 opioid-related deaths from April 2021 to May 2022. That's about eight people every day. 

On Wednesday, families gathered at Thunder Bay's Kaministiquia River Heritage Park to learn about overdose prevention and community resources. They included Krzyzewski and others with the Gone Too Soon Bereavement group, which set up purple chairs and pictures in memory of loved ones lost to drug problems.

Krzyzewski said while her daughter did have access to some supports, such as counselling and detox programs, help for parents who've gone through experiences such as herself weren't readily available. 

"My daughter passed six years ago and there was not a bereavement group that was like us," she said. "A death is overwhelming." 

'You're not alone'

Krzyzewski said it's important to open up with others who've gone through the same experiences, as a way to know you're not alone: "To have our children beg, to be free of addiction, and to cuddle and hug them as they're going through withdrawals. And to beg for this devil to go away. It's sad. It's heartbreaking, just wanting to save them." 

Members of Gone Too Soon Bereavement said even though their children were lost to addictions, it doesn't define them. Stacey Girardin-Chicago, for instance, said that came across strongly during a conversation with her son.

"The thing that really got me was when they come to you and the main thing that sticks out is Zack saying, 'I just want to feel normal. Just one day of feeling normal,'" said Girardin-Chicago, adding services to help people overcome addiction need to be more accessible. "When they say they need help, [they mean] tonight. It may be too late tomorrow.

"That's the huge thing. And honestly, I think that would help save a lot of people, a lot of people."

Emphasis on more resources

She said the lack of resources in northwestern Ontario make it difficult to get help, even for those reaching out for it. 

Lesley Ferguson's son waited months to see a counsellor to help him with deal with his mental health.

"Countless different prescriptions just to help deal with his mental health, his depression and going years of trying different ones, he just wanted to try on his own. And that's when he got into his own antidepressant from China, it turned out it came from," said Ferguson.

"But it was an antidepressant and he was trying to do it himself because he can't get much help here."

An overwhelming message that emerged from the Thunder Bay event is the drug problem can impact anyone. 

Ferguson stressed that the bereavement group is there to offer widespread help.

"For other mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, they can reach out to us," she said. "We're out there. ... feel free to reach out. We're here to be with you, to listen to you."