'I feel like this person was grooming my son': Parent suspicious of adult's messages to 12-year-olds

It began with a parent checking his 12-year-old son's Instagram account.

The father had been contacted by another parent, who had concerns about communications between his 12-year-old son and a 22-year-old man who had met the boys through their sports lessons.

It turned out both boys were connected to the man using the popular social media networking platform.

He messaged my son at 1:11 in the morning, just asking him questions, that's a bit of a red flag.- Father of a 12-year-old boy

"I looked at his account. I don't think there would be anything illegal happening, but I certainly feel that this 22-year-old person was talking to my son in a way I would never, never talk to a child," said one parent.

"For example, suggesting that they meet at some point, telling my son a dirty joke, making reference to puberty. Things that a 22-year-old shouldn't be discussing on social media."

CBC is not identifying the parent because of the age of the boys.

The dad became more alarmed the deeper he looked into the communications.

"He messaged my son at 1:11 in the morning, just asking him questions, that's a bit of a red flag.The other thing I want to say was creepy was this individual made reference to himself not being a pedophile. So he went out of the way to say, 'Hey, I'm not a pedo.' He said, 'Don't worry, I'm a really nice guy,' " the father said.

"I feel like this person was grooming my son to try to make him feel comfortable with the hope of eventually setting up a meeting with him."

The father contacted the 22-year-old, informing him that he'd gone to police, and then his son deleted the man from his Instagram account.

The head of the provincial Internet Child Exploitation unit says they are investigating the allegations and he says the parent did the right thing by reaching out.

But Scott Lambie adds it's by no means clear yet whether there was any criminal activity, or whether it's case of a 22-year-old making some very questionable decisions on social media.

CBC has learned that, since the parent raised the concerns, the young man's employer did their own investigation. As a result, the 22-year-old is no longer employed.

On the national radar

How coaches and other adults in positions of authority interact with athletes on social media is on the radar of the Coaching Association of Canada.

On its website, it has a training module called "Social Media 101 for Coaches."

It lays out best practices for coaches. It specifically addresses how coaches can establish online boundaries with athletes.

It asks three questions.

• How old are your athletes?

      Most experts in risk management recommend that coaches do not interact with minor athletes on social media. If you do, make sure to keep all communication public and only use group chats (rather than one-on-one messages).

• What is your coaching pedagogy?

      Do you want to be seen as your athletes' friend? How does social media impact your ability to be seen as an authority figure? Is it important to you to keep your coaching persona active in all interactions with your athletes?

• What are your reasons for interacting with the athlete via social media?

       Do you want to check up on your athletes or coordinate logistics through Facebook messenger?

Incident acts as a reminder

The Coaches Association of Saskatchewan declined interview requests from CBC.

The parent who spoke with CBC says he feels he may have prevented something more sinister developing with his intervention.

It also provided a reminder of the perils of social media.

"I've got more children," he said.

"I want to make sure that we're all on the same page when it comes to social media, and just being a bit more involved in what my kids are doing online."