Daughter of dead Extendicare resident had 15 final minutes with mom

Shelley Dawn says she had a choice. She could spend 15 minutes with her dying mother Beth, holding and touching her through a gown, gloves, face shield and mask.

Or she could linger in her mom's room at a distance of more than six feet, at the end of the bed, where the rapidly declining, 94-year-old Beth probably couldn't see her.

Shelley set a timer and decided to stay close. Going beyond 15 minutes meant risking infection and needing to self-isolate, she said. 

"I thought, 'I don't want to make it so that I can't come see her tomorrow.' " 

Elaine Beth Sutherby — everybody called her Beth, Shelley says — died early the next morning — a fatal victim in a COVID-19 outbreak at Regina's Parkside Extendicare home that has infected well over 200 residents and staff.

Two more infected residents were reported dead late Thursday, bringing the death toll so far to 14.

"It's just a disaster," Shelley said. "It is the worst case scenario of anything that you could possibly think of."

Shelley doesn't regret her decision.

"The last visit was the best 15 minutes of my life," she said, adding the staff who took care of her mother are "the heroes out there right now." 

Shelley played Beth some of her favourite music — Willie Nelson — and sang a bedtime song Beth had sung to her when she was a child. 

"I told her it was OK for her to go now, that I would be OK, and I think that made the difference because that morning they called me and told me she had passed," Shelley said. 

Visits restricted across province

Shelley said she got to experience something few people in Saskatchewan can right now.

As of Nov. 19, visits to all of the province's hospitals and long-term care homes have been strictly forbidden except for people seeing dying family members — what the province calls "compassionate care" visitation. 

Before their brief final goodbye, Shelley last saw Beth in person at the home around Thanksgiving. She hadn't touched her mom since early in the pandemic.

"She couldn't hear me because we had to be six feet apart," Shelley said. 

Looking back, Shelley said it was a mistake for the Saskatchewan government to allow visits inside care homes around Thanksgiving. She said there were a lot of visitors at the home.

In mid-March, the Saskatchewan government put hospitals and care homes on lockdown, allowing only compassionate care visitors to attend. Those restrictions were relaxed in early summer when each care home resident was allowed two family members to visit indoors, though only one of those people could visit at a time. For outdoor visits, masks were only recommended.

"They opened up the homes for visiting because things were going well with COVID. I question that decision," Shelley said. 

Last month, as the number of COVID-19 cases in Regina began to spiral, the province reverted to compassionate visits only. It also reminded people that masks were mandatory inside all homes.

Shelley's visit near Thanksgiving, before the current lockdown, came shortly before the number of active COVID-19 cases province-wide began to spike.

On Thanksgiving Day, the province recorded 215 active cases of the virus and only eight people in hospital. Two weeks later, the number of active cases had more than tripled and there were 23 people in hospital with COVID-19. Cases have since increased dramatically, with 4,682 active cases as of Thursday. More than 200 cases have been recorded in care homes.

"I suspect that's why COVID came into the homes is because we opened them up," Shelley said. 

Everett Hindley, Saskachewan's minister for seniors, said the visiting restrictions were developed in consultation with the province's chief medical health officer.

"This is why we have worked very closely with Dr. [Saqib] Shahab and his team throughout the months dating back to March to try and implement restrictions across the province, restrictions that aren't popular, frankly, and that cause some difficult situations for people who want to visit loved ones," Hindley said Wednesday.

"This isn't a situation that we saw a number of months ago when the numbers were much lower," he added. "Obviously with the greater number of new cases each and every day, that increases the risk of transmission into long-term care facilities."

Barb Cape, the president of SEIU West — a union representing thousands of Saskatchewan health workers — said the government has to balance the need contain the spread of the virus with the vital role families play in everyday care.

"The people I represent who work at Parkside, they absolutely want the families there for their residents because that's a huge sort of mental and emotional health boost," she said. 

Last week, Premier Scott Moe said he was hopeful family members might able to visit loved ones in care homes in time for Christmas. 

By this week, his message had changed.

"It does seem that it'll be improbable," Moe said Wednesday, while adding that a final decision has yet to be made. 

Shelley had some blunt advice for Moe's government.

"Keep the doors closed to visitors," she said. "We're talking about our family and it's hard not to see them, but we want to see them in the end."