'Live your truth'; 5 stories, pieces of advice for coming out as LGBTQ

Five people from Saskatchewan shared their stories during Pride Week about coming out to their family and friends and advice for the next generation.

Everett Osicki

Everett Osicki identifies as genderqueer but wasn't always open about it. He first realized he was a member of the LGBTQ community in high school but said he never openly talked about it.

When he did come to the realization, it was difficult, he said. 

"It's a struggle," Osicki said. "It's very hard to know who you are."

As he got older, Osicki came out as gay but still wasn't quite comfortable with that definition. Now identifying as genderqueer, he's much happier.

At first, Osicki was going to come out to his father in a letter. His sister found it and told him he had to say it in person. He said thankfully his mom told the extended family once his family knew. 

Once he was out and able to grow into himself, Osicki experimented with drag. He discovered he could can be feminine and masculine. 

"It's been honestly kind of empowering to realize that you know you don't have to be one or the other," he said. 

For those thinking about coming out, Osicki said you may lose some friends, but you'll gain more — a whole LGBTQ family

"Don't be scared," Osicki said. "It's going to be terrifying but you are going to have an entire family and community there for you. So for everything that you lose you're going to gain so much."

"There are supports there out for you. Just reach out," he said. "You do have an entire [LGBTQ] family there waiting for you." 

Brenda Jamieson

Brenda Jamieson came out when she was 43 years old. She identified in the LGBTQ community as a teen but in the late '60s and early '70s, that just wasn't something people did. 

"So, I did the traditional thing. I married and had two children and was in that relationship for about 23 years," she said. "At 43, that's when I met the love of my life and my whole life changed."

At 43, Jamieson met the woman that later became her wife. Jamieson said it was more about the person than her gender, and her partner met all the relationship goals she had set for herself. 

Jamieson came out to her daughter, and her daughter Carrie came out to Jamieson on the same night. 

"So, the evening kind of ended with both of us looking at each other and just laughing because we had had such stress about how we were going to deliver this message," Jamieson said with a laugh. 

Jamieson wasn't the least bit afraid, she said. Her employer and friends were understanding as they made the transition so it was easier for her, she said.

She has now been together with her wife for 22 years. 

"The only advice I could give is live your truth," Jamieson said. "It is so painful when you don't. And it's painful for everyone. Everyone suffers." 

"Just live your truth." 

Reid Bourgeois

Growing up, Reid Bourgeois knew he was a bit different. But when he hit puberty, that's when it dawned on him that he was gay, he said. 

"It was devastating. I grew up French Catholic," he said. "So the way that I learned about homosexuality is the negative connotation."

Since he grew up in the time of the Internet, he was able to go online and read about queer people and watch them on TV, Bourgeois said. When he was 16, Bourgeois decided it was time to come out. 

"This girl that I actually really liked, she ask me out on a date," he said. "But because I respected her so much as an individual I just want to tell her that it wasn't her." 

Bourgeois started telling his female friends, then male friends, then his parents at age 17. 

"It was definitely devastating for them at the time but they quickly grew to be very accepting," he said. 

For people thinking about coming out, Bourgeois said it's important to go at your own pace. 

"When it feels right, it feels right. Understand people might be upset at first because you've had a lot of time to process that and really come to terms with it," he said. 

"People are going to come around and they're going to love you as they did before, if not more, for being honest with them."

Carrie Fletcher

When Carrie Fletcher was finishing up elementary school, she knew she was different, she said. But she kept it to herself until after high school because she wanted to be sure it was the right time to talk about it. 

"I can tell you honestly most of my friends knew," Fletcher said. "All of them when I came out to my friends were not at all surprised. Which is hilarious because I was like 'Oh guys, I'm a lesbian.' And they're like 'We know, we figured that out a long time ago.'"

When Fletcher came out to her mom, it was the easiest part as they came out together.

Her dad, however, was a different story.

"It really honestly took my dad about...13 years to come around," Fletcher said. "I introduced him to my now-wife about two years ago and that was the first time that he's been really, really comfortable around someone that I was seeing or dating."

Now, things between her and her father have been really good the past two years, Fletcher said. But she hid who she was until her early 20s, she said. 

"As I got older, it was kind of a not really caring what people thought," she said. "It's just becoming comfortable with yourself and realizing that you as an individual are an amazing person."

For people looking to take the leap of coming out, Fletcher said "love is always going to win." whether it's love for another person or self love. 

"You don't want to look back in the years to come and be regretful of how you lived your life for a period of time," she said. "It's sad to see that people had to go through that."

Connor Moen

Connor Moen realized who he was when he was 21. He grew up feeling like an outsider because he was gay and had a fear of being the 'other' or 'different,' he said. When he decided to come out, it was at a bonfire with friends at the age of 21. 

"I just met someone there ... it was the first time where I finally felt like I had like a really intense crush on someone," he said. "It hit me."

Moen started telling his close friends and reconciling his identity with his faith as a baptized Catholic before telling his siblings, parents and eventually grandparents, he said. 

"It was so hard, especially at the beginning, because you're literally changing the way people perceive you," he said. "Once you tell someone, you can never undo it."

For people considering coming out, Moen suggests taking your time to build your confidence and self assurance.

"Everything's going to be okay," Moen said. "I definitely don't regret coming out. I think it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. But if you need more time that's totally great."

"I don't think there's really a right way or a wrong way to do it."