Miracle on Ring Road: The rare elation of a Regina zipper merge done right

This piece was first published on Aug. 19, 2019.

This First Person piece is by Martha Neovard, a childbirth and infant feeding educator based in Regina.

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I witnessed a true Regina miracle.

Experience Regina, they say. We all laugh and laugh and laugh. But recently, I truly did experience Regina. 

Me and about thirty other citizens were part of a miracle. 

Let me tell you the story. 

Zipper merge demonstration

7 years ago

Duration 0:29

SGI representative demonstrates how to properly zipper merge.

The voyage begins

The day started off ordinarily. I had laundry to do, kids to feed, a house to clean. 

At 5 p.m. I had a client to visit in the far southeast reaches of the city. 

I knew I would have to leave early. Even with the chaos at the Assiniboine Road exit, Ring Road is still the fastest way to access the Greens on Gardiner from Lakeview. 

Like so many Reginans these days, I felt grouchy and resentful as I considered the journey to come. 

I set down Wascana Parkway, doing a cool 70 km/h in my rustic orange Dodge minivan. I cranked my feel-good music as high as it could go. I needed to hype up my happy vibes in order to calmly deal with the unmitigated bedlam ahead. 

I knew what was coming. The thing Regina commuters dread the most.

I had to zipper merge into one lane on the Ring Road during peak traffic.

The moment of truth

My heart sank as my minivan wheels bumped down the exit onto Ring Road. There had to be at least 75 cars, a sea of frustrated, angry, tired drivers all flashing their brakes and honking. 

I made my way into the left lane, flinching as I drove past the signs with instructions on zipper merging. 

Every sign was on its side in the ditch. Perhaps they had been pummeled by someone who had come before me. A furious mother of four with her thirsty kids screaming in the back of her van? A rage-filled middle-aged accountant on the way to work?

There was simply no way drivers in either lane could read and therefore understand what they were supposed to be doing as they approached the zipper part of the merge. I sank down into my seat and turned my music ("Happier" by Marshmello) up a bit louder, trying desperately to avoid eye contact with the folks in the cars beside me. 

I knew it would be a fight to the finish at the merge point. The "merge" sign had already fallen victim to the same fate as the others. It lay askew on the road, haplessly staring at the cloudy prairie sky.

As I moved closer to the merge, I glanced at my speedometer. I was startled to see we were still moving along at 35-40 km/h. 

Could this be? No. I could not hope and risk the heartbreak.

I gasped even as I signalled and slid my van over. A single tear came to my eye and glistened behind my Ardene's sunglasses.- Martha Neovard

As my van inched closer to the merge zone my tunes switched to "Hallelujah" by KD Lang. The car beside me answered with The Last Saskatchewan Pirate. I risked a glance over and the woman driving gave me a reassuring smile. 

My heart stuttered with hope, that feathered thing. 

KD Lang hit a crescendo as, suddenly, a single ray of sunshine fell on my car and the 20 vehicles around me as we approached the entanglement at the Assiniboine bridge. 

Then, like the heavens above, the cars in the right lane parted, making room for those of us in the left lane to smoothly switch into every space left for us. 

A true zipper merge under the Saskatchewan sun. 

I gasped even as I signalled and slid my van over. A single tear came to my eye and glistened behind my Ardene's sunglasses. 

I cheerily waved to the accommodator behind me. The other left lane folks continued to perfectly merge one by one into single slots left by the cars behind us, giving waves of their own. 

Not a single honk was heard, not one bumper hugged, not one angry word or grimace was expressed. 

As we smoothly continued on our way, I tried not to sob. A perfect zipper merge. 

A true Regina miracle.

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