'The link was broken': How low literacy impacted this mother and daughter's relationship

When Leone Dixon's mother asked her to help write a speech for Family Literacy Week, the 35-year-old wasn't prepared for how fundamentally it would shift their relationship.

In helping to put her mother's struggle with literacy to paper, Dixon said her perspective on her mother, Dianne Smith, and her own childhood was irrevocably changed.

"I heard bits and pieces of my mom's story but I never sat down and kind of dissected it and broke it down," she said. "I saw my childhood through her eyes and it just changed so many things."

While Dixon knew her mother had received her GED late in life — the day before she turned 50 — Dixon said her mother's issues with literacy remained for the most part unspoken.

For many years, when thinking back on her childhood it was her mother's absence that would dominate her memories.

'I don't have that, looking back'

Smith worked long hours in a string of manual labour jobs, often seven days a week, while raising Dixon and her brother George.

Dixon said she sometimes wishes her mother could have been around more often to help with homework or bond with her while reading a book.

"I hate to say that I don't have a lot of fond memories. I do. I certainly do. But ... even now, talking to my girlfriends that have children, they're sitting down reading with their babies.

Mom couldn't go and get a 9-to-5 like a lot of my friends' parents did – because Mom couldn't fill out the application to get that job.— Leone Dixon

"They're reading the storybooks that their parents read to them. And I don't have that, looking back," she said.

In December, the P.E.I. Literacy Alliance asked Smith to share a speech in celebration of Family Literacy Week. At the event, Smith was surprised when she was awarded the Peter Gzowski Award for Literacy, given annually to someone who champions literacy and inspires others to continue to learn.

It was only in helping her mother with her speech that Dixon realized her mother's absence wasn't a choice.

"All of these labour-intensive jobs — Mom couldn't go and get a 9-to-5 like a lot of my friends' parents did – because Mom couldn't fill out the application to get that job."

'It started many years ago'

Smith says low literacy forced her to "work harder and longer" to provide for her children, which often meant she had to spend time away from them. 

"From a mother's perspective it's hard to hear your daughter say that. I did my best that I could at the time, ... I guess in reading some of my past speeches she realized how bad things really were," she said.

"It would have been nice to be able to sit down with her and read bedtime stories with her. But because of my lack of skills I wasn't able to do these bedtime stories."

A long struggle

Smith said her struggle with literacy began at a young age.

"It started many years ago, when the teacher was picking on us … didn't get my phonics so I wasn't able to read," she said.

"I always thought that I wasn't ... good enough and I'd always stand in the back or slouch in the corner or like sort of hide."

By the time she entered high school, Smith was already behind, and she ultimately dropped out. 

"It was just manual labour after that," she said. 

Poor self-esteem

Dixon said she also struggles with poor self-esteem and low confidence, some of which she suspects has trickled down from her mother's.

She wonders if her issues could have been minimized, if not prevented, if her mother had a different experience in school.

In 2017, about 40 per cent of kindergarten-aged children on P.E.I. who completed the Early Years Evaluation didn't meet the developmental milestones in at least one of the report's five skill areas. 

They know how to hold a book, they understand there's a beginning, a middle and an end compared to a child that wasn't read to.— Jinny Greaves, P.E.I. Literacy Alliance

Each year, the P.E.I. Literacy Alliance said about 1,200 Island children from Kindergarten to Grade 6 are referred to the organization by resource teachers because they are struggling with reading, writing or math. 

A 2012 international study coordinated by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development found 45 per cent of Island adults — and 48 per cent of Canadian adults — lacked the literacy skills they needed in order to fully participate in society, achieve their goals, and develop their skills and potential.  

P.E.I. Literacy Alliance executive director Jinny Greaves says parents are children's first and most important teachers. 

"They know how to hold a book, they understand there's a beginning, a middle and an end compared to a child that wasn't read to," Greaves said.

"They may not know those things, they might not even know which way to hold a book or the format of a story — so they're already behind."

'It is a wonderful thing to do'

By the time children reach Grade 3, being taught to learn is finished and reading to learn begins. 

"Children who can't read well by Grade 3, really the rest of their educational time in school is going to be a struggle."

But more than that, Greaves said, reading to children allows for bonding and closeness to form between a child and their caregivers. 

Could have been completely different had my mom had the support and literacy skills at a younger age.— Leone Dixon

"Even if children are on their mother's lap, on their dad's lap or grandparent's — hearing a story with words and contexts that they've never heard before, that just adds to their learning and their development," she said.

"They start to associate books with comfort and being in a caregiver's arms and there's a wonderful bond there, sharing a story and talking about it is a wonderful thing to do."

A trauma

In struggling with low literacy into her adulthood, Smith said her family "missed a lot." 

"Skills are all learned, and I was unable to pick up on it because I had low self-esteem and felt so down on myself," she said,

"I didn't think I was worthy of all these things and that's where the link was broken."

I really believe people who go through a lifetime of illiteracy have had a trauma that they need to deal with.— Jinny Greaves, P.E.I. Literacy Alliance

Low self-esteem and shame are common issues among people who live with low literacy, Greaves said.

"Kids are smart and they know when they're behind the rest of their class and that's going to affect them. They don't understand the bigger picture of what they missed out ... they just know that they're not where their peers are.

"I really believe people who go through a lifetime of illiteracy have had a trauma that they need to deal with … that can go into adulthood and can cause mental health [issues] or addictions."

Now that she better understands her mother's struggle, Dixon said she sees her mother with new eyes.

"I was reading the situation wrong, from my 10-year-old point of view and [it] carried on through early adulthood ... something that could have been completely different had my mom had the support and literacy skills at a younger age."

When she thinks of her relationship with her mother now, "it's at a place that I've always wanted it to be at and I never thought it could be."

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