'I'm not alone': How a special dinner inspired a widow to reach out to her community

It started with a memory of one P.E.I. woman's widowed mother, and now the idea is not only growing, but spreading.

JoAnne Perry's mother became a widow at the age of 47.

"She was a widow for 30 years. Most of that time was looking after us and not much time for her own self to make a life outside of her family," said Perry.

There were seven children to look after, so certainly she was busy, and there were lots of people around. Perry was very close to her mother, which made what she said some years after her husband's death all that more surprising.

"She said to me one day 'I am so lonely.' And the depth of that, I never forgot it," said Perry.

An absence made more palpable

It was the memory of that simple, powerful statement that years later would inspire Perry to help create an event to bring widows and widowers together, so they could share, and hopefully alleviate, their loneliness with people who understood their experience.

She chose Feb. 14 as the day.

"Valentine's Day, when our culture really celebrates love — partner love — and people are going to get flowers, going out for dinner, you know, our widows and widowers, on that particular day the absence of that spouse I believe is much more palpable," Perry said.

There are other ones sharing the same grief.— Trudy Cameron

The event is a dinner at St. Paul's Parish Hall and has been going for a few years now in Summerside — and it's full to capacity every year.

One of those attendees is Trudy Cameron, whose husband died seven years ago last month.

"I was trying to be on my own and it was really difficult," said Cameron.

"I really felt that this would help me to realize that I'm not alone and there are other ones sharing the same grief journey. I think people just don't know how to approach you when you're grieving."

It was a remarkable event, said Cameron, and too important to be left to once a year. She partnered with the local Boys and Girls Club to launch a regular exercise class for seniors there. It would be one more reason for seniors to get out of their homes and socialize.

Perry never suspected her personal memory could be such an inspiration for others.

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