'It connects us': Why this P.E.I. woman is getting strangers to write letters to each other

When Islander Kim Roach reaches into her mailbox, she expects to sift through a pile of bills and flyers.

When she retrieves a parcel instead, from a complete stranger, she can't help but crack a smile — suddenly, the banal task of picking up the mail is infused with a necessary touch of warmth in the middle of winter.

"I think people really underestimate the feeling that mail gives you, when you get mail that isn't a bill or isn't something that you're supposed to get," Roach said. 

"It really makes you feel like someone cares." 

'The winter blahs'

Last February, Roach organized a snail mail swap with participants from across Atlantic Canada.

The goal? To curb what she calls "the winter blahs" and help people make new connections.

She said the project was inspired by a friend who had mentioned to her that her workplace started delaying its office secret Santa swap until February to create something to look forward to after the holidays in December.

Roach decided to post about the idea on her Instagram page, she said she was surprised by the level of response it garnered.

"We kind of figured maybe 10 people would want to be a part of it, and it turned out even better." 

Things you don't know that you really need until you get them.— Kim Roach, organizer

In the swap's first year,  83 participants exchanged handwritten letters of encouragement and parcels filled with small items like tea, bath bombs or even local art — all intended to inspire cosiness, self-care and connection during the lonelier, "blah" winter months. 

Aside from postage and the items people choose to include in their parcel, there's no cost to participate in the swap. Roach asks participants to keep the cost of their parcels under $20. 

This year, the swap grew to 104 participants, with some people sending mail from as far away as Ontario and the U.S.

"We did it randomly, so the person that you were sending the mail to wasn't the person necessarily that you were getting the mail back from, which is even more fun. So it's two connection points," Roach said. 

Roach, an illustrator and greeting-card designer on P.E.I., said she believes in the power of handwritten letters. 

"It connects us because it really shows that you took the time to reach out to someone and you really have to think about what you're writing."

'Special touches'

Pausing from the hectic energy of daily life to make a connection with another person is helpful, she said, in alleviating the effect the winter blues and general loneliness can have on people.  

"I suffer from anxiety and I can be depressed at times as well," she said.

"These kind of special touches, to reach out to somebody, are things that people wait for, and things that you don't know that you really need until you get them."

It's allowed me to make a new friend out of it, even if it's virtual.— Laura Waddell, participant

In Canada, studies have found that one in five Canadians identify as being lonely.

Part of the issue is that more and more Canadians are living alone — 28 per cent of households, according to recent numbers by Statistics Canada.

Higher rates of divorce, stronger dependence on technology and sprawling urbanization have also been been credited as contributing factors to loneliness.

But regardless of the reasons why it occurs, the consensus is that it's happening and the results are damaging.

'Something cosy'

Laura Waddell says participating in the swaps has helped brighten the winter months. 

"The gal that I sent mail to is actually based out of Guelph, Ont., and she has a stationery IT company and we became fast friends."

She said she sent her swap partner, "something cosy that she could pamper herself with."

Waddell said the pair continue to keep in touch over Instagram — a year after she sent her parcel. 

"It's allowed me to make a new friend out of it, even if it's virtual," she said. "How cool is it that it spans provinces?"

As people reach into their mailboxes in the coming days for this year's swap, Roach hopes the parcels and handwritten letters will serve as reminders of the importance of human connection and small acts of kindness toward yourself — especially when it feels challenging. 

"What's really great about it is that now we're not scared to talk about it anymore and we're not scared to say, 'Hey, I need a little pick-me-up ... and I'm going to sign up for this and I'm going to push forward to reach out to somebody."

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