Domestic violence services for men on P.E.I. expanding as need grows

P.E.I. Family Violence Prevention Services now has a staff person working full-time to offer services to men who have been the victims of violence as well as those who have inflicted it.

Executive director Danya O'Malley says a part-time employee had been offering this help, but after the number of referrals began to grow, the organization hired someone full-time.

"Over the last few years, we had been getting more and more referrals for men, both as victims and as perpetrators," O'Malley told Island Morning co-host Laura Chapin. "And we do know that most perpetrators at one time were victims. So I felt it was important for us to have a service for the types of referrals that we were receiving." 

The men's services co-ordinator sees clients one on one and will be doing group work in the fall, O'Malley said. 

'Early intervention' with perpetrators 

Perpetrators of family violence are referred to the service from many different parties, including law enforcement agencies as well as the provincial Health and Education departments and Child Protection Services. 

I see changing the behaviour of controlling or abusive men as true prevention, because you're preventing future victims.— Danya O'Malley

"A lot of the work we do with perpetrators is considered early intervention," O'Malley said. "They might not have an assault charge or have gone through the court system, but Child Protection might refer to us to help somebody understand the impact of violence on their children, and to have a better understanding of how to manage their behaviour and how to change their behaviour for the better.

"I see changing the behaviour of controlling or abusive men as true prevention, because you're preventing future victims, you're preventing more victimization of their current partner, and you're also minimizing the amount of violence that their children are exposed to, which is really important." 

Healthy relationship training for Grade 10s 

The men's services co-ordinator will also roll out training about healthy relationships to all Grade 10 students at P.E.I. high schools this year. The program had previously been piloted. 

Sometimes during these presentations, O'Malley said students will reveal they are in an unhealthy relationship or have been a victim of abuse in the past. Guidance counsellors or student wellbeing teams can also identify people who may need family violence prevention services, so that all parties can receive help. 

"That's really important, that we see everyone as deserving of quality services," she said. 

'Tip of the iceberg'

More men are perpetrators of family violence than victims, O'Malley said, but she estimates that male victims make up at least a third of the men referred to the co-ordinator. 

"We know that male victims are very reluctant to come forward. There's very few services out there, and I'm really happy to say that we offer this now," O'Malley said. 

"There's a lot of expectations around masculinity. It's often difficult for men to talk about feelings anyway, or to seek out health services anyway. This one is especially difficult because in a way they're saying they're being victimized by somebody who's supposed to be weaker than them."

Most of those inflicting family violence on male victims are women, she said. 

We do know that we're only reaching the tip of the iceberg as far as violence against men.— Danya O'Malley

There is just one men's services co-ordinator for the entire Island, but O'Malley said the organization would lobby for funding to add another position if the services become so popular a waiting list develops. 

"We do know that we're only reaching the tip of the iceberg as far as violence against men," she said. 

Women are more likely to be victims of domestic violence causing bodily harm or even death, O'Malley said. Men experience physical violence as well, but more often tend to be victims of verbal and emotional abuse.

She said men are often not taught they can be a victim of the more subtle forms of abuse, so it can take them longer to reach out for help, if they do at all.