What a P.E.I. woman gained by losing 130 pounds

Jessica Dickie knew it was time to make a change in her life. In fact, she knew her life depended on it. In the spring of 2017, the 29-year-old woman from Stratford, P.E.I., was overweight, deeply depressed and in a very dark place.

"I was at my highest weight. I was at 350 pounds, super depressed. I didn't know what direction my career was going in, what direction my personal relationships were going in and I just felt totally lost."

Dickie has battled a complicated relationship with food for most of her life. It started after a traumatic event in her early childhood caused her to turn to food as a way to find comfort.

"I started treating my emotions with food when I was four. My mom would find me in the fridge scooping out butter with my finger and just eating it … just constantly sneaking food, they'd find an open can of tuna in my closet when I was six," she said. "It was like going into survival mode. My body was trying to take over and feed it so that I would be a bigger person."

'So tired'

As Dickie's body grew bigger, so did her sense of social isolation. She found it hard to establish relationships with people and felt misunderstood and different.

"I didn't react to things the same way. I wasn't excited about certain things that people would be really excited about," she said. "It was because I had built up this big barrier around me with food and I wasn't allowing anybody else in, no emotions, because my body had taken over and was trying to protect me from any more trauma."

Dickie remembers how hard it was to move through the world at 350 pounds.

"You're just constantly thinking about your weight. Will I fit through this opening? Am I in somebody's way? Can I sit down next to this person on a bench?" she said. "And you're tired, you're so tired. It'd be so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. I was late to work every day."

'I was suicidal'

By June of 2017, Dickie had hit rock bottom.

"I felt so lost, I was suicidal, I was in this deep hole of depression" she said.

"I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to be at work and when I came home I didn't want to do anything except just sit on the couch. When you are carrying that much extra weight on you how can you do those things? How can you feel motivated?"

Then one day, while scrolling through Facebook, Dickie came across a picture of a woman named Louise Campbell. The picture showed a dramatic before and after body transformation of Campbell with a story about how she had lost 135 pounds.

'At a breaking point'

Motivated and inspired, Dickie made an appointment to meet with Campbell's trainers, Kurt McCormack and Logan Doiron.

"When I met Kurt and Logan, I was at a breaking point. If I continued down the path I was [going] I'd be 400 pounds today or I'd be dead," she said. "I was scared, terrified, I didn't even want to walk down into the gym."

Dickie made the commitment to work out four days a week, she switched to a low carb, ketogenic diet and began meeting with a therapist.

Within the first month, the weight started to come off. But the road to better health was not always smooth, Dickie stumbled along the way.

"You know, I failed multiple times. I would binge eat, two weeks into it I had a huge binge eating weekend and felt totally discouraged. But you know what? I got back up and went in to the gym Monday. Was it hard?  It was super hard," she said.

"I felt really discouraged to have backtracked so quickly but I did it, I got back up, I went in, I tried again and that's how I've gotten to where I am today. You're going to fall back but for every step back, you've got to take two forward."

For me it's not about the number on the scale, it's about feeling like I have power, that I control what my body is like, because for so long I let the food have the power.— Jessica Dickie

Dickie has shared every step of her 130 pound weight loss journey on her Instagram page, called Fashionable Jessica.

Her amazing transformation photos have even caught the attention of The Dr. Oz Show. She said producers recently asked if they could use her pictures on an upcoming episode. Dickie hopes documenting her journey openly and honestly will empower others to make positive changes in their lives.

"For me it's not about the number on the scale, it's about feeling like I have power, that I control what my body is like, because for so long I let the food have the power. That's how I treated my emotions. Anytime I was triggered I went back to this little girl who would just sit and eat her cookies to make her feel better," she said.

"Being aware of that, that's the biggest weight that's been lifted off of me. The 130 pounds almost feels like nothing compared to that because my spirit is just different. I'm happier, I want those relationships I'm excited about things that I was never excited about before and that is probably the biggest reward that I've had over this past year and a half."

It's like lighting the wick inside of you and sharing that flame around you. I feel energized, I feel on fire, I'm super excited about my life.— Jessica Dickie

Dickie's new goal is to lose 70 pounds by the time she turns 30 on May 20, 2019. If she can do that, she'll have lost 200 pounds in just under two years, going from 350 to 150 pounds.

"It's like lighting the wick inside of you and sharing that flame around you. I feel energized, I feel on fire, I'm super excited about my life."

Dickie's voice cracks with emotion when she thinks about what she'd say to the girl who started this journey 16 months ago.

"I'd probably hug her and just say thank you because I don't know how she did it. I would just give her a big hug and say thank you for being brave and thank you for doing it, because my life is so different," she said choking back tears.

"And I'm crying but I'm so much happier. And I cannot believe that I got here and I'm not sure that I ever will. It feels like I'm living in my dream world, a very happy dream world."

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