Parents burning out as pandemic drags on
Exhausted adults struggling with demands of work, online schooling
Between her job as an intensive care nurse and supervising online school for her two children, Jennifer Macdonald is running out of steam.
"It's exhausting trying to juggle everything," Macdonald said outside her home in Kanata. "It feels like I have a constant timer going,"
Macdonald works in the intensive care unit at the Civic campus of The Ottawa Hospital, where she has been employed for 17 years. The stress of the job is mounting as more and more patients with COVID-19 are admitted to the hospital.
We get people calling who are just exhausted, frustrated, weeping and crying because they can't get the support.- Michelle Hurtubise, Western Ottawa Community Resource Centre
"Our patients are getting younger, so when I'm seeing patients who are in their 20s and 30s having to deal with COVID and being intubated and just so sick, it is just breaking my heart," Macdonald said.
The emotional strain is making it harder for Macdonald to leave the pressures of her job at work and switch gears to being a good mom — and now also teacher — at home.
Heavy toll on mental health
Earlier this month, Ontario shut down in-person instruction in schools again after a surge of COVID-19 cases. The province hasn't said when kids will be able to return to class.
Recently, a group of Ottawa pediatricians sounded the alarm about the rise in mental health issues among in children and adolescents. Macdonald said the pandemic is also taking a toll on the mental health of parents.
"I just find a lot more people are burned out. It's just gone on for so long now, people are just kind of done," she said.
Her children Ethan, 12, and Fiona, 6, attend different online schools with different schedules, making it difficult to find time for anything fun or relaxing.
"I mean it would be nice if you could have a standardized lunch break time, so at least then you can take the kids outside to do an activity or something," Macdonald said.
Support for families limited
Michelle Hurtubise, executive director at the Western Ottawa Community Resource Centre, said parents understand why their kids have to stay home, but for many families it hasn't been easy.
"We get people calling who are just exhausted, frustrated, weeping and crying because they can't get the support, and there is no break and respite care that's available," Hurtubise said.
The resource centre can direct parents to rapid short-term counselling through a program called Counselling Connect, but amid this third wave of the pandemic, other programs are limited in the kind of relief they can provide.
Sam Ahmed has four children, three of whom are doing online schooling. He's also employed full time as an essential worker at Health Canada, and said he's mentally exhausted.
"I'm tired yes, mentally tired," said Ahmed, who is also fasting for Ramadan. "When you fast all day long and you have your kids at home and you have to chase them and you have to do all their stuff for them ... it's not that easy to concentrate."
Ahmed said his wife is also "burned out" and dealing with her own health issues, adding to his own stress. He's just thankful his children, who are 12, 10, seven and three, are resilient.
"They're very tough kids. They support each other, they help each other, they love each other," Ahmed said.
Need help? Here are some mental health resources:
- Counselling Connect
- Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
- Youth Services Bureau Crisis Line: 613-260-2360
- Ottawa Mental Health Crisis Line: 613-722-6914, 1-866-996-0991 if outside Ottawa
- Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region: 613-238-3311
- Association québécoise de prévention du suicide: 1-866-APPELLE (1-866-277-3553)