'There's things you don't unsee': Firefighters offer support to Humboldt first responders

Firefighters from across Ontario — and even the United States — are taking to the ice in Ottawa this weekend for a charity hockey tournament, but in between games they're reflecting on the challenges facing their comrades in Saskatchewan.

For the past nine years, Derek Bowker has been organizing the Hockey for Little Hearts tournament. Each year dozens of teams compete and raise money for the neo-natal unit at the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario, donating $60,000 last year alone.

But this year some of that generosity is aimed toward Saskatchewan, where a fatal crash involving the Humboldt Broncos team bus on April 6 claimed 16 lives. 

"I've spent a lifetime on a bus, playing hockey all over Canada ... Part of the Canadian heritage of hockey is bus life and camaraderie on the bus," said Bowker.

"It's probably what drew me to being a firefighter, working as a team and having your brothers there all the time."

The rink's 'a place of sadness now'

Bowker feels a connection to the tragedy, as he played hockey in the same league as the Broncos during the 1990s and grew up in a similarly a small community.

"When you're in a small town, the whole community's closely knit. Everybody knows everybody," he said.

"When they've got just one rink, and that's the place to be all the time — it's a place of sadness now."

But he's not the only firefighter who has a hockey stick out on his porch.

"Humboldt touches everybody," said Alex Mimikos, a firefighter from the Detroit area.

"We feel the grief because we're in the hockey community. We can all relate to what these young men and women went through and what the families are going through."

Many players picked up Humboldt stickers for their hockey and firefighter helmets during the tournament, donating money for the green emblems.

'There's things you don't unsee'

Throughout the Jim Durrell Recreation Centre, firefighters spoke of brotherhood: on the ice, in the station house and on the scene of life-changing events.

"I know very well firefighters that were involved in the OC Transpo bus-train incident here in Ottawa, and it wasn't anywhere near as big," said Bowker, referring to the 2013 crash that killed six people.

"I'm sure [the Humboldt tragedy] has not only affected those families of the players and coaches, but the first responders that went there and their families."

"There's things you don't unsee, you don't forget, and you deal with that your whole career," he added.

A similar look passes over each man, as he describes the feeling of coming across a scene where there are obvious casualties.

The first moment is heartbreaking, they say, but emotions quickly take a backseat.

"A scene like that is ever-impacting on you. However, you've got to be professional and the first thing you've got to do is you've got to go through and do your job," said Mimikos. 

Pat McNeely, also from Ottawa, said that while basic training kicks in, the feelings can't be pushed down forever.

"When all's said and done, you think about your family," he said.  

"Far too many times we arrive on scenes that are pretty tragic, pretty devastating for the general public. In this day of age of PTSD, it's important that we get together and have a little release."

The tournament continues through Sunday.