For these families, online learning just isn't making the grade

Online learning fails. You've seen the memes. The reports of tears and tantrums.

And kids are finding it tricky, too.

Some parents are admitting they're struggling to support their children's e-learning during the COVID-19 lockdown. 

So with the province announcing Sunday that publicly-funded schools will now be closed until at least May 31, CBC Ottawa reached out to parents to ask how they're getting on.

We followed up with a handful of families willing to admit it's all a bit much.

Basia Schreuders 

"Not good. Not good."

That's how things are going with Basia Schreuders and her sons, eight and five. Her older son, Max, is autistic and also has ADHD.

Schreuders said she and her extended family have spent $100,000 getting Max help, but this has been a setback

"You try and get him to 'stim' less and do more social and typical behaviours during the day," she said, using a term for self-stimulatory behaviour, which usually takes the form of repetitive or unusual body movement or noises.

"And after years and years ... we finally got there. In just this short period of time, it has started to revert back to where he's stimming and talking to himself in his own world, like, 90 per cent of the day."

Max is also struggling with the interactive aspects of online learning.

"It's much more difficult for even typical people to interact on a video call. It's way harder for a person with autism. He doesn't know where to look. He doesn't know how to show someone something in the field of view. It's really loud and people talk over each other, [and] when you have sensitivity to hearing that's really difficult."

Schreuders said she's more worried about Max learning to read than succeeding at online chats.

"Is he gonna go through every Google Meet? No way. Is he going to even do 20 per cent? Maybe. When this is over I need my son to learn how to read, and I don't know how it's going to happen."

Sam Bridge

Sam Bridge, whose children are six and four, is working from home. Here's part of an email she shared with us, edited for length.

I can't keep up. My son struggles to focus because our entire world has been flipped upside down and he struggles with ADHD on the best of days.

Something has to give, and I've decided that it's the e-learning that's had to go.- Sam Bridge

I can barely get him to focus on a page a day. I try to encourage documentaries but they usually end up on Paw Patrol.

I'm burning out. I've had to adjust work hours. I've had to break up fights during Zoom meetings. My coworkers have been introduced to my "mom voice." I'm not doing my best work as a parent or an employee. Work is relentless. My kids are non-stop. Something has to give, and I've decided that it's the e-learning that's had to go. 

Todd Stanton

Todd Stanton and his wife are trying to keep their three kids on a schedule, but they're struggling to keep them focused.

"The kids don't react the same way to us as they might to a teacher. Even just sitting down to do the assignment at all. If it's not something they're interested in, they're used to being able to push back with mom and dad more than they would a teacher."

But they've come up with a strategy: "'These are the instructions from your teacher. These are the things they're asking you to do.' We're really trying to come off more as the messenger."

Shannon Trick

Shannon Trick is coping not only with her son Mason's online learning, but with her own soft-tissue injury caused by a botched TikTok experiment. She was trying to get dressed while doing a handstand. 

Trick is struggling with the technology, specifically transferring her 10-year-old's assignments, sent in PDF format, into a document that can be submitted in Google Classroom. It takes time just to recreate the template, and time is hard to come by. Trick is a financial analyst who just made it through the fiscal year end, clocking 10 to14 hours a day. 

"I have a very intense job. When he's trying to do his schooling and there are constant interruptions, it's really difficult to juggle both. I want to be a good mom and I want to be a good employee. I'm just finding it challenging. For eight hours of the day I'm almost virtually ignoring my kid," she said.

"It's a really, really tough, tough time to figure out where you should be and what your expectations should be and what do other people expect of you." 

Joel Westheimer

Joel Westheimer teaches at the University of Ottawa's faculty of education and is a frequent guest on CBC's Ottawa Morning. He said it's important for families to keep things in perspective.

"I don't think we should be worried about falling behind as much as we should be worried about the mental and emotional health of our kids."

Westheimer wants families to consider pandemic learning from a different angle. "Everyone keeps focusing on the 'learning lost.' No one's talking about the 'learning gained,'" he said.

If parents are working full time and juggling a lot of balls, Westheimer said it's better to spend a precious hour doing something hands-on.

"I'd like to see them baking a cake or building a robot or working in the garden ... than trying to keep up with an ever-changing goal post of 'keeping up with the curriculum.' When school resumes in the fall or next January ... all kinds of accommodations are going to be made."

Westheimer points out many parents are saving time commuting, but if that time is "squandered on sitting in front of a computer or trying to puzzle out something because you're not a trained teacher? It's a waste. That's 'learning lost.' So I'd like to flip it. Which is the learning lost? And which is the learning gained? How often do you get to bake a cake with your kid?"