Life under lockdown: One mom, three kids and a house without inner walls

Life under lockdown: CBC is speaking to Nova Scotians in unusual situations during the COVID-19 pandemic. This four-part series introduces you to the spiritual side of isolation experienced by monks; a practical guide to physical distancing from a person living on Sable Island; insights into keeping community without a physical community from L'Arche Homefires; and how to parent, work and study — all by yourself.

As Caitlin Rooney explains how she's coping with home-schooling her three children, working from home, and studying for her MBA, one child pushes a wooden chair against the counter, puts her tippy toes on the back, and stretches precariously for an errant paper airplane.

Rooney rescues her child before returning to the phone in the home she and her young children share in LaHave, N.S. "It's an interesting little house in that it doesn't have any walls between the rooms. It's a series of lofts stacked on top of each other," she says.

That describes life under lockdown for Rooney and her children: stacked on top of each other. She's isolated with 10-year old Lilah, seven-year-old Hazel and six-year-old Finlay.

"I'm turning 11 in 27 days," Lilah adds. Hazel pipes up to say she's 31 days away from turning eight. "The noise is definitely much more noticeable," their mother says with a laugh.

All of her children attend the independent South Shore Waldorf School, where Rooney works part-time as an enrolment and development co-ordinator. She's also doing her MBA at Dalhousie University. "I wasn't planning for this to happen when I made that decision," she says. "It seemed like it would be manageable."

Now, she's trying to do it all at once, with help from the children's father, who cares for them in the back half of the week. Their extended family lives in Quebec and Ontario, leaving no other child-care options.

Her day starts around 6 a.m., when Finlay bounds into her bed. "I can usually eke out another half-hour in bed if I allow her to pretend that I'm a stuffed animal," Rooney says.

She turns teacher for the morning, guiding each child through their grade's activities. She takes them outside for exercise in the afternoon, then brings them in for the dinner and bath routine. Once they go to bed, she works and studies until about 1 a.m. Five hours later, Finlay bounces back in and they start it all over again.

She has three tips for other parents struggling through the lockdown: ask for help, forgive yourself, and prioritize your to-do list.

"I have little reminders up around my house. Notes like, 'Remind yourself to breathe,' so I see them and remember to take two minutes while I'm washing my hands to do some deep breaths, try to reset, and let go of the things that are feeling stressful or frustrating."

Living in rural Nova Scotia, she has few home-delivery options. The Ploughman's Lunch, a local bakery, has basic groceries and delivers to her twice a week. A neighbour offered to collect her mail.

One day, her tap broke and the nut fell down the drain. She urgently needed to fix it to keep the water flowing, which meant she had to go to the hardware store. But what to do with the kids? "I didn't want to leave them in the car, because you're not supposed to leave your kids in the car, and I also didn't feel like they should come in the store," she says.

Rooney turned the little crisis into a game by challenging her children to touch her the whole time they were in the store, and to touch nothing else. "That was really difficult. It felt like a real dilemma and I didn't know what was the best thing to do in that situation," she says of the dash in and out of the store.

She knows the world is suddenly full of people trying to make such impossible decisions on the fly during the COVID pandemic.

"I don't know if it's more challenging trying to do it alone, or with a partner, or with an ex-partner," she says about life under lockdown. "Just try to be kind and remember that it will pass."

And, she says, remember to breathe. Even if it's just while you wash your hands.