Yukon MLA Annie Blake opens up about her path toward recovery

Last June, Yukon MLA Annie Blake issued a public statement describing her struggles with substance abuse and announcing that she was taking a leave of absence from her job as MLA to focus on her own health and well-being.

She enrolled in a treatment program outside of the territory, and by the fall she was back at work in the Legislative Assembly.

"It was important for me to just be honest," said Blake. 

"I still believe that no matter what I go through in life, the people I represent deserve to know what's going on in my life."

Blake was elected as NDP MLA for Vuntut Gwitchin in Old Crow, her home community and Yukon's northernmost electoral district, in 2021 after spending several years working in health care and wellness. 

Her own wellness, however, took a toll over the last year after the death of her sister.

Blake, 43, said the political pressure as well as the grief became too much to handle and she relapsed into her addiction.

She said she grew up around substance use and started to use heavily herself when she was 12, after her father and youngest brother died in a fire. 

In recognition of National Addictions Awareness Week, Blake spoke to the CBC's Virginie Ann about her decision to seek help last summer, and how she's now exploring recovery. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Can you talk a bit about what was happening in your life at that time?

It was sometime in June. I had to go up to Old Crow to do my sister's headstone because it was a little over a year since we had her funeral.

I wasn't in a very good place at the time. I had nothing left to give. Nothing. All I saw was where I wanted to be, and I didn't wanna be alive at the time. I think back on that time and I just kind of shake my head because I know what I'm capable of. I know I could take a lot, and I've been through a lot. I just sometimes don't understand how I could let myself get to a place where I ended up so hopeless and basically not give a care about life or anything, even my kids.

The worse I got with using ... the less I became a mom to my kids. I didn't hide it from my kids ... they knew I was using. I remember one night my daughter was confronting me. And she straight up told me, she's like, "I don't even have a mom. I don't have anybody. I'm so alone. I don't know what to do."

Like, she was struggling, visibly struggling, and crying in front of me. And I looked at her and it didn't even faze me. I became so quick to be defensive. And I could remember telling her straight, I looked her dead in the eye and I told her I don't wanna talk about it. And she tried to say more and I just looked at her and I just said, "I don't even care." I told her I have nothing left in me. Nothing. And she just looked at me and started crying, and I just kept using.

That's how lost I was.

National Addictions Awareness Week series : Yukon MLA opens up about her struggles

1 month ago

Duration 7:05

Over the summer, Yukon NDP MLA for Vuntut Gwitchin Annie Blake went public about her struggle with addiction. She went on medical leave to take care of substance use issues. CBC's Virginie Ann sat down with Blake for an exclusive interview.

After that, what did it take for you to realize, OK, I need help?

I think it took probably me ending up in the hospital. [From] when I started using ... to when I ended up in the hospital, it was a short period of time. And my kidneys were impacted, my organs are impacted. Even though it was a short period of time, I ended up severely sick.

And I think if I didn't end up in the hospital at the time when I did, I probably would have died in my daughter's bed.

This is something we don't hear quite often from a public figure. Why did you decide to come out publicly about it now?

I got so frustrated with hearing like the rumours from some people who were talking about it — they were talking as if I was using for the last 25 years, which is not the case. 

I understand if people are angry with me and you know, I've apologized to people. I went to the community of Old Crow in September up to the General Assembly and I said straight up, you know, I'm not here in my role. I'm here as me and I'm here to clear the error and apologize to the community if there's any shame or guilt that I've brought to them as their MLA for that community. 

Did you feel the pressure to come back?

Yeah, because I knew I was needed back in the legislature. I have to also uphold that responsibility.

It was quite challenging transitioning back, but I think going through all this that I've been through, in the short while I've been through it, there's a lot of lessons I've learned.

I was able to experience what it's like to go into a treatment centre, how scary it is.

One of the biggest things that really helped me in treatment ... You know, I've lived through a lot of sexual abuse in my childhood and I've been through a lot of sexualized violence as a teenager ... I actually felt at home when I realized that every one of us sitting in that circle in treatment, all my peers, every single one of us in that circle went through sexual abuse. 

And I think about our history with residential school, Indian day school in the Yukon, you know, every community has been impacted by that. When we talk about the root causes of addiction and substance use and the harms we see in our communities, one of the things that I feel is so important that we need to really talk about and start focusing on is sexual abuse. 

Lots of lessons in there ... How do you see that those lessons can serve you as a human, but also in your role as an MLA?

One of the biggest things I've been able to gain insight into is when I left treatment, I had to sign a contract with my aftercare worker, and one of the things in there is to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings five times a week. But here in Whitehorse, there's like a few AA meetings. I couldn't find, like a consistent NA meeting that happens five times a week. They wanted me to find like a sponsor, but I was not able to find that, which makes me think about the importance of having like an aftercare team, whether it's in the communities or here in Whitehorse. And you know, there's so much opportunity out there to build that ... whether you're coming out of treatment, or getting out of the jail system or whatever system you're reintegrating out of, back into the community. Like, how important it is to have systems and supports in place to ensure that people exiting these systems come back to a home environment where they have access to the supports they need to keep on track and ensure they thrive.

I understand why a lot of our people, when they come out of those institutions, they go right back to struggling — especially those who have no support, no housing, no job, no income, you know, starting with nothing.

What's next for you now?

God, I don't even know. I really don't know! Since I went through treatment, I just learned to live day by day and appreciate each day I'm given. 

I know that life is precious. And, you know, I've lost so many family and friends to drug overdoses and substances.

I think about our young people, you know, I see a lot of our young people, they're barely making it through their 20s now. Across the Yukon, we have kids growing up with no mom or dad. So what supports are we putting in place for them? 

And I think it's so important for people to know to that, you know, despite whether or not they struggle with drugs or alcohol, it doesn't make them any less human. 

I've been through it, you know, I've been judged harshly by some people out there for using. Some people think I should have stepped down, but you know, at the end of the day, we're still human.

If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:

• In the Northwest Territories, reach the NWT Help Line 24/7 at 1-800-661-0844. 

• In Nunavut, reach the Kamatsiaqtut Help Line 24/7 at 1-800-265-3333 or 867-979-3333.

• In Yukon, call the Reach Out Support Line 24/7 at 1-844-533-3030.

• Suicide Crisis Helpline 24/7 by phone or text 24/7, toll free by dialing or texting 9-8-8. 

• Hope For Wellness Helpline: 1-855-242-3310 (phone, available in Inuktitut, Cree and Ojibway upon request).

• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (phone), live chat counselling on the website.

• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.

This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.