After women's conference gaffe, here's what leading women say they really need
A government-led session advised women to 'pray' and 'smile' — but women say they have better tips to share
They were told to smile, relax at home to maintain their appearance — and pray if times got tough — but attendees at a government-led women's conference Wednesday weren't having any of it.
Outrage over a 1936 booklet containing tips for success that some criticized as antiquated, presented at a networking session by a male speaker from the Dale Carnegie training program, seemed to overshadow the Women in Leadership event.
With a man at the podium for over an hour, women didn't actually get much time to speak up, critics said. But a chance to work the room would have revealed women's distinct approach to networking, said Kelly Hickey, a business owner seated in the audience that day.
'Do you have children?'
To break the ice, according to Hickey, the male presenter advised asking about other women's children, which struck her as out of touch and insensitive.
"There's a million reasons not to ask that," she said.
"How do you spend your days? What are your passions? Why are you here?" she said.
"These are things that we actually talk about, and we didn't need a man on that stage to tell us how to talk to each other."
Strong ties needed
Lori Lee Oates, a historian and lecturer at Memorial University, agreed it was an unfortunate oversight that the networking session ended up as it did, especially considering how women need strong professional relationships in order to overcome traditional barriers.
"Everything we know in the literature on women in business, women in the workplace — we know that networking absolutely has to be a priority if you want to address the issue of women in leadership," she said.
"Women have a harder time finding mentors than men do. Women frequently, in the workplace, get left out of drinks after work, or golf on the weekends with co-workers.
"All of those are things that affect a woman's ability to move forward in business, if you don't have the networks and mentors to help advance you."
Finding a way to overcome those disadvantages is essential, Hickey argued, suggesting that women in leadership tend toward different ruling methods than men.
"Women are often more like lateral power leaders," Hickey said.
"I'm not a person who's into biological determinism, but there is a behavioural pattern that is undeniable. Women in leadership tend to have the more lateral power, they tend to listen more.
"If you have a critical number of women in decision-making bodies … [whether] it's a family, or a community, or a town council, they're more inclusive, they're more consensus-building, they're more environmentally friendly, they're more family-friendly."
Giving women space
But as long as men hog centre stage, Hickey said, none of that can materialize.
It's "condescending to assume that women don't know how to talk to each other," she said of Wednesday's session.
"Instead of having an opportunity to actually network, there was a man up on stage — who was rather tone deaf about how to speak to women — taking up all of the time, and all of the air, in the room."
Hickey recalls glancing around her table at women she admired and had hoped to network with, thinking, "'I don't want to hear from this guy.' There's already an overrepresentation of men's narrative, and an underrepresentation of women's narrative," she said.
Ball defends 'fiasco'
The provincial Opposition criticized the event's organization in Monday's question period at the House of Assembly, calling what happened a "fiasco."
Premier Dwight Ball defended his work on gender parity. "No other government in the history of this province, no other government in Canada, has set aside a department for the status of women," he said.
"That is our commitment to women's leadership," Ball continued. "We have seen ... significant progress in the number of women that are in leadership roles on our boards, agencies and commissions."
Minister Carol Anne Haley, heading the newly formed Office for the Status of Women, said there were "lots of positives" coming out of the event.
"The conference was a tremendous opportunity," she said. "I acknowledge there were issues with the networking session … and I apologize for that."
In a scrum with reporters, Haley was pressed by CBC's Anthony Germain about complaints from members of the opposition parties, who claimed they never received an invitation to the conference.
NDP Leader Gerry Rogers said the event seemed "hastily pulled together," calling it a PR stunt that did little to advance the conversation. She said she was not directly invited to the conference.
Watch Minister Carol Anne Haley explain who did — and didn't — get an invitation:
Oates agreed the event was generally positive, and expressed disappointment that the gaffe eclipsed recent announcements by the Ball government.
"I was really pleased with the policy directions.… That seems, to me, to be mirroring where the federal government is going," she said, adding the Trudeau government's gender-parity policies are held up internationally.
Oates said government leadership is essential to getting more women into decision-making roles, which she views as a universal benefit.
"We need women's voices there. We need to create the space, we need to encourage, we need to empower, so that we can have a brighter future."
With files from On the Go and The St. John's Morning Show