I'm trans, I'm American … and I'm terrified of going home

By Sam Harper*

*Sam Harper is a writer and activist from New England, currently living in Newfoundland. The name is a pseudonym, as CBC has agreed to shield his identity to help protect his safety.

I am terrified.

I am a citizen by birth of the United States, an activist, a writer, a Boston Red Sox fan.

I am also transgender.

And as a transgender person, I'm terrified. I'm terrified because my country's government is proposing to erase my existence.

We recently learned of the Trump administration's proposed definition of gender — a proposal that would exclude trans people from federal recognition, and potentially many civil rights protections.

This definition could have severe consequences. Under this definition, I could be denied access to the medication I need. I could be denied housing and work, and discriminated against legally based on the fact that my gender does not match the "F" on my passport.

The current U.S. government might try to erase trans people, but I still believe in the arc of the moral universe bending toward justice.

It is hard not to feel like my country is trying to betray me.

Because hate crimes are on the rise on both sides of the U.S.-Canada border, it's hard to feel safe anywhere.

The signal that the Trump administration is sending in a country that supposedly stands for "liberty and justice for all," is that a large group of American citizens — and a community of people all over the world — deserve neither liberty nor justice.

And while it's true that this is happening south of the Canadian border, it's all too likely that the Trump administration's actions will be another incitement to bullies everywhere.

Finding light in the darkness

But in this situation, I find myself searching for — and finding — some measure of light in this darkness.

When I moved to St. John's three years ago, I was struck by how welcoming and inclusive this town was — especially in comparison to the U.S. — and the fact that my trans identity just didn't matter.

People were more interested in what I had to offer as a member of this community than in how I presented my gender. Here was a safe spot for a young trans person to go to school, put down roots, and be able to focus on the parts of identity that don't centre around gender.

And while there has been a rise of visible transphobia at Memorial University, in the form of stickers that have appeared in elevators and bathrooms, the community has pushed back, hard.

• MUN students slam transphobic stickers appearing in gender-neutral bathrooms

A dedicated team of allies has rallied around us, and around the cause of human rights.

These allies are our teachers, our friends, our family, our doctors. And we need them. And we need this community to stand by our sides, now more than ever. Attempting to erase a category of people based on gender identity is not a trans rights issue. It's not a liberal issue or a conservative issue.

It is a human rights issue.

But we — and when I say we, I mean all of us, everywhere, with a shred of human decency — will continue to fight against bigotry, a fight that began long before the Trump administration.

We take inspiration from past struggles, and continue to hold fast to the long-shared ideals of fairness, justice and liberty for all.

I know my country has not always lived up to those, but they are ideals worth striving toward.

Bending toward justice

So yes, I am terrified. And I am mad as hell.

But I am also inspired. I am strengthened, every day, by wonderful allies.

The current United States government might try to erase trans people, but I still believe in the arc of the moral universe bending toward justice.

We're all just going to have to muster all the strength we have and push harder on that arc to hurry it along.

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